parenting

Family is soo important and I have had to reallllllllllllll -y fight for it over the last 5 years. I am just literally exhausted behind it but I love my kids and I would not trade them for the world… Regardless how #$%#@!@ my 18 year old twins can be MOST of the time! GEESH….

Nonetheless, God has been helping me to remain patient and faithful to them as HE was for me as I was going through my changes and trying to find my way…. then I still scratch my head and say that my 9 1/2 year old does NOT act ANYTHING like my 18 1/2 year old twins…..

Then I scream >> GOD!! I didnt act the way these kids are acting! Then he reminded me again, it is with that same way of thinking is why a lot of people JUDGE.

It is man who places stipulations on what types of sins are just or unjust but God says that we are ALL indeed a mess!

So with that being said….. my kids REALLY teach me the importance of forgiveness because without Christ in my life – I would have dropped them and cut them completely out of my life about 5 years ago. Family is a must and a need for me… so I will continue to ask God how to show me how to effectively parent my children….

Saturday Part #3

My kids were so happy to see their God Mother that I felt bad telling them that we could not hang that long! I already know that I am going to have to pull my kids away after a minute if we are to stay on schedule!! I was trying to share my time in 4 different areas and evidently I packed too  much of it into one day!!  I still loved seeing everyone and all of the ripping and running……. LOL

They talked and hugged and laughed until it made my heart smile! Nikki has been an amazing impact in my 18 1/2 year old twins lives ever since they were about 5 years old and she has been consistent… so naming her God Mother over my 9 year old was easy as well. She has such a great spirit and a huge heart and the kids soo genuinely love her…. you can see it everytime they see one another…. Jaylen LOVES her to pieces… and now that she has a son of her own, Jared feels that he is the big brother and tries to help her… funny!

 I am blessed to just be able to document the NEW MOMENTS in my life… May God continue to bless the Porter, Smith, Jones and Coleman families! Mom Smith, Nikki, Ray, Little Ray, Cornell, Toy and Little CJ have ALL been there for me as well… GEESH… they know a little chunck of my story!!! I am grateful for the part  ( s ) that God allowed them to play and they chose to play in my life…..

F. Y. I. Folks

People may know my name BUT they are not aware of MY story…..

People may know of several things that I have done via ministry, political and for different communities BUT they have no idea of what I have been through!

Truth be told if some had to wear my shoes, im sure that they would slide or flip off of their feet due to them being too big to wear.

Or they wouldnt know what direction to walk in due to the fact of things looking easy but soon to discover that things are NOT easy.

Just because you come in contact with someone, or be a co worker, or share the same friends DOES NOT mean thay you really know them….

It just means that you know of them, which there is a huge difference.

You know the surface me and the little things that I have chosen to share with the public which some actually have taken that little bitty silly and surface information as A PASS of knowing ME personally.

LOL…… Sorry but your are mistaken!

Dear God

To know you is to see life in a special and ever so unique way…. Your love, your wisdom, your gifts, your talents, your compassion, your heart and your interest in ME is very humbling.

The way that that you have proven your feelings towards me have awaken new things in me for such an appreciation for the real meaning of life…..on earth as well as in Heaven.

I just wanted and needed to say Thank You for showing ME another perspective on the things of life and made me realize that the things of the world are indeed temporary and carnal.

I am glad that your ways are not my ways because I have indeed proven to you and to myself that I cannot live this life on my own!

God, I surely celebrate our differences, because they provide a richness and a sincere depth of understanding that would otherwise be MISSING in MY life.

God, thank you for sending your only begotton son to this filthy world to shed his blood for someone so undeserving like me…

I try to live right everyday but even with the little things, I still do fall at times and I am sorry. By the way, as you have already noticed…..I STILL lack patience, so can I have aome help?

Sorry for being sooooo long winded, but hey you created me so im going to assume you like hearing my voice often! I love you and thank you for all of our past, present and future chats!

This is one relationship thay I hold dear to my heart and its my goal to make YOU a priority morning….noon and night.

Okay, chat with you later!

Val

Note to self….

When I change the quality of my mind, I will have the strength, strategy and power to change the quality of MY life! #teamme! So Speak and Grow……1, 2, 3, ……>> GO!

You rock
Your blessed
Your special
Your appreciated
Your worth it
Your needed
Your wanted
Your honest
Your mysterious
Your classy
Your smart
Your kind
Your compassionate
Your beautiful
Your inquisitive
Your loyal
Your wise
Your prayerful
Your educated
Your respected
Your impeccable
Your amazing
Your jibberish
Your funny
Your talkative
Your peculiar
Your shy
Your organized
Your loving
Your blunt
Your helpful

That’s a nice START to remind myself of who I am right now!!!

Happy Monday……

Happy Monday! Went to bed tired and woke up tired BUT very happy!!! The weekend was busy and very good… from hanging out with my mom and sister, to spending time with daughter thursday and friday, to doing errands for my aunt and nephew, to spending time ALONE!!! ( LOL ) to myy son coming home to enjoying LIFE…. Forgiveness SHOULD be contagious…..but it isnt… I am thinking that it may not be via people may not understand the TOTALITY of forgiveness ya know!!! Forgiveness has the awesome capability of making you FEEL clean…..

When you forgive people that is letting them know that it is not ok what they did BUT you frgive them and will not hold them emotionally hostage! Also, it is allow YOU to release yourself from any pain or discomfort they may have caused you.. NOW MOVING FORWARD….. that does NOT mean that you have to continue to share your life…your space….your time with them. You choose to forgive but you also are wise enough to keep them at bay. Now for some relationships that YOU FEEL are “worth saving” you can set up new boundaries and attempt to start a clean slate but again its your choice, your voice, your life..

However, forgivness feels empowering and VERY liberating!!! God has had me on this since this past May….and its weird because sometimes it feels as if He gives me “jolts” and during those times, I tend to FORGIVE  >>>>>>> QUICKLY!  We do not have to hold onto things …..but it is indeed okay to express yourself and let someone know what they did to you.

Moving right along… I so so cannot believe that it is basically almost 2012 in a matter of days!! This whole year went back soo fast and in fact.. EVERY year has just flown by since about 2008…… I live every day NOW like it is my last… I love more… I understand more.. I complain less.. I forgive more….I move out of my own way more ( LOL ) and just glady and openly embrace the new changes that are taking place in my life.

I so appreciate the fact that Jesus is the same yesterday…today and forever more…. and with that being said… It is a DAILY reminder for me that throughout my whole life with crazy trials and tribulations that I have experienced…… it is I who have changed and NOT GOD! So now that I have been >>> re – inventing  myself <<<<  and I am enjoying “most” of the changes! LOL

thanking Him “again”

I thank God because with HIM….Anything can happen!!!!!!!!!!! This link made me REMIND myself who I am to God!!! Please click and watch this video link below….. WHEW JESUS!!!!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2kza1aPD884&feature=share

God is just simply amazing and I dont understand how ANYONE can ever doubt that….. When I watched this video… talk about things in my life that hit the replay and rewind button OVER AND OVER AGAIN….

As women we go just go through soooooooooooooooooooooooooo much that we all have asked ourselves…friends..family..and of course GOD…. OH WHY!!! WHY ME!!! How many times have God heard us screaming and saying that very statement!

The woman is built with things that cannot be seen with the naked eye but can surely show demostration with the naked eye…. our physical….emotional… mental and of course our SPIRITUAL intake level is so high.. that God knew and still knows what He was / is doing when He allows the WOMAN…. to go through trials and tribulations…

so I count it as a compliment from God….especially when HE ALREADY knows the final outcome of my situation(s)

#TeamGod

soccer, family, food and Jesus

Welp, the winter season for my son’s soccer has officially started! Running late behind holiday traffic and Jared pouting because he doesnt want to be late for the first game so im speeding but we made it…

Im NERVOUS because his father is “suppose” to come today…. God knows that I had my fingers, toes, hair, eyelashes, arms and EVERY AND ANYTHING that could be crossed…indeed crossed…. He was excited and hoping and praying that his father could finally see him play at a soccer game. So, Here we go after the whistle blows………….

So far so good….everyone was in moving and kicking and blocking and already…im tired of video recording and taking massive photos! LOL It is nobody’s fault but mine because I indeed obsess over getting a photo of ANYTHING my son is doing! I can tell that my son is trying to play soccer and also watch the entrance door at the same time to see if his father was coming….it made me a little sad because we both talked about it and felt that he wasnt coming… I mean he is 9 years old so why should he expect anything different now? It would be LOVELY to see but……

Now we are already about 15 minutes into the game and both teams were about to do a jump ball and Jared was in the middle for his team’s side when the referee was talking to him and pointing to Jared’s feet with the tip of his own shoes. Now I must be honest…I didnt want to be psycho mom but I was getting upset because this referee I HAD TO HAVE WORDS with over the summer because he was being picky with Jared because he was the tallest player on his team….he felt that Jared should go a little easy on the opposing teams who were deemed smaller than him.. OF COURSE I LET HIM HAVE IT…..in a lady like and Christian manner but I indeed spoke my peace with the super duper young referee….

Anyway…. the issue was the Jared had on spikes on a “gymnasium service” and spikes are for “outside”…well since we were rushing to get to the game..I had to make 2 stops since I am the team mom and I had to grab snacks and papers etc.. I didnt think about what was on his feet…..as long as they were ANY KIND of his Addidas shoes I was fine… Well to see my son coming off of the floor crying..I felt horrid because not only does he LOVE soccer… I felt his embarrassment and feeling of being left out..and not being able to play.. then by now the game was more than half over and his father still didnt make it to the center where he was playing.. so to say the LEAST my son’s emotions were ALL OVER THE PLACE…

My mom and sister were there always supporting my son in his activities but they also found themselves trying their best to cool me down because they saw that I WAS FURIOUS….seeing my son hurt like that just made me want to hurt something or someone..and by his father not being there really disrupted Jared’s regular playing style and ability….it was like he was stuck and just going along like a robot.. I am glad that they were there to help me stay calm so that I was able to deal with Jared’s double emotions going on….

So after I calmed Jared down…I ran to the car grabbed him a pair of regular tennis shoes and I was soooooooooo grateful that my mom and dad always taught me and my siblings to always keep extra pairs of EVERYTHING in the trunk of the car and double that if we had kids! Jared was too happy when he remembered that he had tennis shoes in the car ….he put them on and went back to the game…

My sister and mom was really enjoying themselves….They usually are at Jared’s Taekwondo sessions and OVERLY HOT baseball games but to have them at Soccer and watching them root Jared on was soo cute!

So while Im taking photos of my baby playing soccer…. my girlfriend’s son walks up to me and says..hi Aunt Val…I was floored because the last time I saw him was about 2 years ago and he was MUCH shorter.. He grew up to be even more handsome..

So of course my next question was…wow are you here to play and where is your mom…. He giggled and advised me that his mom would be coming in the door in a few minutes….I was hoping so because Jared’s team was on a water break and I wanted to see her..

Well she came in..and said hello to me and hugged my mom and then grabbed Jared! It was nice to see her crazy butt!

 

 

 

 

 

 

iI really was having a nice time just talking and fellowshipping with the other Soccer Moms and Dads but my heart was VERY sad because Jared of course was looking around for his father but to no avail….he still hadnt showed up… and I was thinking.. how in the world am I going to deal with this today…it is VERY draining dealing with son’s emotions when it comes to his father being absent.. It is very hurtful and when my baby hurts OF COURSE I hurt…so does my mom…sister..and my daughter… I mean Jared is only a baby! My mom and ESPCIALLY my oldest sister Noreen…..boy oh boy!! Is she VERY protective of her nephew..he is like her son big time..

 

 

So by this time the game is in its last 2 minutes and me and my girlfriend catch up on life and ministry things and while we were talking..I was standing with my back turned and she said my son’s father’s last name really loud and I turned and lo and behold..it was HIS FATHER!!!!!!!!!! >>> inside…I was soooo shocked BUT ever SOO GLAD FOR MY SON…..  I was like wow… A MIRACLE!

Here is the PROOF!!!! He actually indeed came…………..( I was soooooooo happy for my son…you have NO IDEA!! ) I am STILL in shock and it has been at least 7 hours later… but nonetheless and the MOST important thing is that my baby was happy…..even if its for a moment… this is only the 2nd thing that he has come to in 9 years!!!! So im glad and it makes it all worth it.. I prayed and I will continue to pray that this is the beginning of “the right thing”………..

Whew… >> im indeed doing the happy dance right now…..  because I have a glimpse of hope that a father and son unification may have the potential of happening…… FUNNY

Sister – Power!

 Today my sister got a new car and the whole process was a God send!! The whole process was smooth! The whole process was easy! The whole process was fun! The whole process was comfortable! The whole process was needed! The whole process was felt!  The whole process was favor! The whole process was spirit – led! The whole process was God! Can you imagine going to the car dealership already knowing what you want and when you get there, they give you what you want and work out the numbers in 10 minutes flat and get you out the door? Welp that is indeed what had transpired today with my big sister!! She is soo amazing and getting the car that >>>she wanted <<<< was so well deserved on her end. I think that I am as sweet as pie and as nice as a sponge cake! Then, I take a moment and think of my sister and I cant even compare to her! Well, I am next to the baby…so shouldnt it be that way anyway? LOL

 The God apointed  sales woman named Ms Lisa was like an angel behind a desk for real. There was no pushing, no prying, no fast talking and the whole transaction flowed so fast and so nicely that we BOTH kept looking at each other with the silent language techniques that we have mastered and kept saying huh??? Then we would smile and be like oh, ok God….. then continue talking with the saleswoman..  We prayed for the lady during the process and the other sales team brought us food and beverages and chit chatted and their was one that kept flirting. I said to my sister, I know JUST HOW to get him to leave us alone just until the deal gets done. I asked him would he buy me a cross over truck since I am such a nice lady and I am blessed by God. He laughed and advised me how pretty I was but said “maybe next time”…. I giggled because that was his language telling me>>>okay lady, I got the message and I hear you loud and clear!!! Nonetheless, the WHOLE car dealership had a great  spirit resting there that I had to find out information about the owner.

Come to find out that the original owner was a follower of Christ and the business has been open since 1953. I advised them that they are living off of the prayers of the patriach of the family owned business and that if they wanted to continue living in the overflow to not make any bad decisions to rip people off because it the end they will suffer. Shockingly, the sales people that I talked to agreed with what I shared…. me and my sister hugged as many as we could >>>and wanted to hug us back<<<< LOL !! Welp, I guess that we are just #teamblessed that is all!

My Brother’s Keeper

My brother and I have been close for YEARS…. then poof! It seemed to be all gone almost in an instant! Miscommunication as well as Misunderstandings – can not just hurt things but can decapatate, dismantle and even kill relationships. Nonetheless, I miss him sooo much! Currently, we are really working on our relationship and things have been going amazingly well and we almost picked up where we left off at. We have always been there for another in the good times and the bad because the bond is not broken just the communication has been.

We have DEFINATELY had more good times than bad and to be honest, we have only had 1 situation that had rocked our rapport. However, that one situation tore up the level of closeness that we had and to even still think about it…. im still baffled. However, God has a way of disruppting everything so that you can get a handle on really what actually is.

From his college days, we were soo like the bopsy twins it was great. I loved the fact that he was the first sibling to attend college and experience the life that I too was waiting for! He was the big man on campus but he always would put a bug in my ear an say that “everyone loves you when you are the man”, but let me see how many will be here if and when I need them! That saying holds true to this day in the life that we live in! He was like a brother and a sister to me. He also knew how to always show me the love of a big brother. I loved his college days because we hung out, he was the most AMAZING Uncle that any kid would love to have. Seriously, he was like their father besides my dad. Those who did not know who he was on my end thought that he was my boyfriend and vice versa. I actually miss how we use to be, it in a sense gave me like a weird balance because my brother AND my father were the two amazing men in my life and I looked up to both of them. They all imparted some great things into me and my father enjoyed the relationship that me and my brother had.

During his NFL season is when things fell apart but again like I stated, we are fine “now”… but things that we go through in our lives can show us who and where we really are. No matter what Professional Team that he has played for, he was always in the media for making good plays. Football and Fellowhip seemed to connect us over all of these years. I was popular in school and so was he and we both fought to be ahead of the game all of our lives. I am next to the baby out of 5 kids and he is the middle child and out of everyone of us, we are the only two with the same mental aspects on life. We may take different roads to get to some of the things in our lives but we end up at the same station together waving hello!

He has been like a father to my now 18 year old kids… He was and still is a great uncle to them and tries his best to help lead and guide them in this life.  He now has 2 of his own and is a great father to them as well. I laugh and get really tickled sometimes when we are on the phone and I hear how he deals with them, especially his daughter and see that we even parent the same to a degree! I think he is the male version of me and I am the female version of him give or take a few things. However, we both glean from one another and beleive in Christ, Family and Education because with those 3 very important things will take you far in life but also has the POWER TO SUSTAIN you in hard times!

I love him soo much and really apprecaite the man that God has molded him to be!

We have BOTH come a long way and I am just grateful that we were always mature enough to let the past be the past so that we could find ways to endure the futre together.