Helping Self...

Just Thinking –

I have been exposed to diversity all of my life but over the last 10 years I have reshifted my focus towards my OWN community. Was it right? No? Did I feel that I had just cause? Yes – the way that the COMMUNITY acts towards one another from within the COMMUNITY left me no choice but to mentally – physically – emotionally – financially – and sometimes even spiritually from the community.

However, after seeing a movie on August 20, 2013 and it changed me in a way that I scared even myself – I love PEOPLE in general and watching history take place and unfold in front of me on a big screen with total silence in the room ( minus a few parts of a movie that may have been edited for viewing ) still made me become aware of emotions that I had NO IDEA I had the ability to even feel towards another person. However – after the movie was over – I went to go and “speak to myself” and purge what I was feeling –
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Although I ONLY spoke for about 10 minutes – I still felt as if I indeed had soo much MORE to say – but I was TERRIFIED how it would actually leave from my lips – Black History has a great deal of blemishes in it….. but it cannot be ERASED but it can be used as a tool of how WE ALL CAN do better and promote and push for LOVE AND EQUALITY – Did I get upset? Yes, Did I cry? YES, Did I become bitter? No, Did I pause and re-evaluate my friendships of anyone who is white in my life? Yes.

Did it change my views of them? NO!!  Ugghhh!! Racism is ugly …

Now that I am BETTER and I have CALMED myself down – I feel great – I feel good – I feel free – I feel blessed – I feel strong – I feel different – I feel worthy – I feel accomplished – I feel valued – I feel blessed – I feel invincible – I feel beautiful – I am just honored that I can EVEN FEEL ANYTHING –

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