This is how fast my life has felt over the last 3 months…. Am I exhausted? Sure thing – Would I change anything? Sure thing! LOL I am HAPPY but am I ever ” so exhausted ” mentally – socially – spiritually – emotionally – physicallly ETC…ETC..ETC…
Well it is that time again and school is coming to a close! I am so GLAD to finally enjoy the summer time FOR ME……… I tell you…the last 8 years of my life has indeed been “interesting” to say the least!
Nonetheless, with my almost 11-year-old son – whew let me tell you…….with him being a boy and with all the up and down moods that he has experienced over the last 6 months – we BOTH need a mini vacation from one another….
To ME… now the summer time does NOT represent all the fun things that I will do with my son during the 3 MONTHS that he is out of school! Two years ago, I started my process called ME and I did not put it into action until last year.
The process has been a tad been rough because as a single mom you do soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo much for your kids that NORMALLY you always forget about yourself and what you need…dont need.. etc. Well before my son enters into High School, I wanted to start thinking of MYSELF and the things that I desired to start doing.
You hear the slogan saying Happy WIFE…Happy LIFE…Well let me take it a step further and deeper…. I say Happy Mother equals a Happy Child – because parenting is some SERIOUS BUSINESS…if you are in it for the long haul! LOL
As parents….mothers in particular…then ESPECIALLY single parents – it is indeed imperative that we not only FIND time but we MAKE time and TAKE time for ourselves and as my son is counting down the days that he will get out of school and until his birthday………
I am counting down the days that he will be away at camp!!! so I can re- vamp – re -discover …re -build and re -grow the new and improved ME……
Mind…Body…Soul..Spirit… Just having a PIECE of freedom is priceless!
I remind my son daily that although it is important to have a variety of friends. Having manners, saying please and thank you, knowing how to interact with common sense is very basic but indeed VERY vital.
However, if he plays the drums, the tenor saxophone, plays baseball, plays soccer, plays basketball and reads books on a weekly basis – It would NOT be such a great idea if he started hanging around friends who did NOTHING that he participated in. It is like being unequally matched up even as friends.
The image you portray yields the person you’ll draw to you so don’t get mad at what’s coming to you…check the mirror and see what you’re displaying!
She moved away last year and it was all of a sudden and I was of course sad and my son felt super bummed about it! However, lo and behold I found out that she temporarily moved back to the area for at least another 6 months or so – been here since this past Saturday and contacted me today! Yeah I choked her for just now getting in contact with me! But wait…. it has ONLY been 4 days! LOL Plus she is a newlywed so I have to remember my old school values and respect her schedule with her new hubby… BUT SHE MY FRIEND and I missed her! LOL
It is easy to get wrapped up in our own wounds, our own feelings of ambivalence and our fears of feeling alone in the world. After all, a love that remains unexpressed is a love that nobody knows about. Women are KNOWN to be catty…..sneaky and of course unreliable but that is not everyone ya know!
It is not until someone finds the courage to share their feelings and open up and have a genuine sisterly relationship that they are then blessed with the knowledge that they, too, are worthy of the love they are giving.
My son OF COURSE…….. was soo elated to see her and hang out this evening! He has a crush and just cant stop grinning! LOL It is a major blessing having great friends and when your kids love them and they return love your kids ” AS IF THEY ARE THEIRS “…..it is amazing!
Okay before we departed…. I HAD TO GO and find a blessing for myself……. I did and look what I found! SOOO HOTT!!!
Movie night is something that I created for me and my son to do on a weekly basis. Between school, work, church, soccer practice, baseball practice, band practice, martial arts practice and ripping and running for my mom……………….. I want us AND need us to have a moment to breath AND laugh together outside of the house and movie night is ONE of the things that we do.
We saw Arthur Christmas and it was sooo hilarious! I always wondered how people would video tape or bootl leg a movie and sell it. I have a smart phone and I sat there and video recorded about 52 minutes of the movie and when I got home…I viewed it and screamed out laughing! It actually taped very well, the sound was crisp and I said to myself…this was indeed one of the silliest ….funniest and craziest things that I have done in a long time..
It was fun though! and NO!!! I didnt delete the movie…I have watched it twice since then! Forgive me Lord!!!
I find it rather “Cool” being a hands on mom… Mother’s who never complain about never being tired, I say to myself…it is because they are not 100% percent hands on. There is not 1 ” productive ” Mother who is very involved in their child’s well being can attest to this. My son is only 9 years old and I make sure that I know at least 90% to 95% percent of what he is doing everyday!
Yes, I said ONLY 90 – 95% percent because no parent will ever know everything that their child is doing or into. I can use that “high percentage” right now becaues he is 9 years old and the younger they are…the easier it is to indeed “track them”. No home devices needed but good old fashioned hands on management between a parent and a child……
Compared to the ” Millineum Parenting” today, how I was raised would be considered old school… Nonetheless, old school worked for me back then and it is still working for most families til this day. So many families are “chasing their kids” because they give them too much free time and space.
Children are to be respected but also nurtured, guided and groomed for daily and mature living. You want your child to be a law abiding citizen and not a citizen that the Law ” now has to abide” for. Parents should always find ways to communicate with their kids… It is imperative…. a must…mandatory etc… Kids from the time they begin to walk and talk need to understand that there are boundaries and rules that must be followed. You cannot wait until your child is in high school to “find out what they are into”..then wonder why you feel that you are losing them!
Find out who their friends are. if they are participating in ANY kind of school activity >>> GO!! Go to show support but also go to see what type of enviornments your child is being subjected to. This also gives you a great opportunity to see how his or her friends act when most parents arent around. Attend PTA Meetings, go and be on time for Parent – Teacher Conferences.
Make yourself accessible to the teacher by sending emails and notes letting her know that you are here in case your child gets out of line. Make your face and name known that you are a parent and you care what is going on at your child’s school.
Let your child know when things arent going right and address what penalties that need to happen. However, you must also praise your child when he is doing well also. From Homecoming Dances, to Semi – Proms, to Proms etc. you should be made aware of everything that he or she wants YOU TO FIT THE BILL FOR! Make a contract / agreement stating there is no last minute >> ” Mom can I go to this _______________ or Mom I need this ____________________ paid for or Mom can you sign this_____________.
Make them be responsible and surely hold them accountable for things as well and by doing this, you are helping them even though they may not be able to see it. Kids want to me nurtured but of course in their own way! I do believe in meeting your kids where they are and going from there…. set up a relationship foundation BUT trying to be your child’s friend will get you into trouble EVERY TIME! My 9 year old thinks that ” im cool” BUT he also understands that “i cant play with mom like i do my friends”….. why? Because I am MOM…..
I am Jared’s friend but I am his MOTHER FIRST… and that right there is the difference. You cant be friend first and parent second… If you do, then get ready for HEAVY HEARTACHE to set in!
When your children get older they will love you but more so RESPECT you for what you didnt allow them to do more so than what you DID allow them to do… Right now the teenagers in your life want to have fun and ACT INSANE but if you dont put a stop to it….. their insane behavior will have major consequenses to pay.. rather it be in middle school..high school..college .. if they dont get caught up in those time frames… TRUST ME.. their downward spiral will happen if they have not gotten the picture yet.
Adulthood has no room for insane behavior…… well, let me take that back…. Yes adulthood does have TIME and ROOM for insane behavior!!! It is called JAIL!