Helping Self...

Addicition Maybe?

Now the photo above COULD represent me just taking a photo with a saleswoman in a store correct? Welp…. that would be too much like common sense Im sure- Or could it have been THE LORD using her to stop me from going any further? The lady did seem very excited to see me, we both introduced our kids to one another whom had not seen one another in 8 short / long years! She saw me in an aisle and looked at me and stated that I looked as if I did not need another stitch of clothing for my closet…….

She would not know that because I only had 4 things in my arms, so what would make her have that huge assumption of me I am wondering?

She is my cousin who just happens to work at a store that I GO INTO EVERYDAY to buy something…. Yeah.. I know that is not normal – pray for me instead of laughing at me okay! Or how about pray for me instead of judging me! LOL

My son just so happened to see a movie called Confessions of a Shopaholic and said….Mommy that is you! REALLY? My sister chimmed in and said definately that is you – I did watch the movie and surely I did NOT utter one word until it was over and said –  I AM NOT THAT BAD! However, when she went into her freezer to defrost her credit card….. I felt a need to pray – cry – laugh – giggle AND REPENT all at the same time! Weird I know…

I know that God HAS TO HELP ME with this little ” problem ” that keeps bothering me! UUGGGHHHH!!!! Does it make it ANY better that I do pay my bills as well as my weekly tithes / offerings AND give to non profits? Well, as long as I do give back right?

The church is waiting for ME tomorrow and there MUST be a tiny spot with my name on it so that I can get on my knees and ask for HELP! Yikes….

Dear ( ME )


I met Facebook, hung out with Facebook, dated Facebook, fell in love with Facebook, got engaged to Facebook and happily married Facebook !! However, I then felt that it was in MY best interest to go and get divorced from Facebook. It was a little hard at first and we went through small spurts of seperation and then finally I knew that I had to end it!

After prayer and sleepness nights and not being able to focus on the normal things of Life….. I finally FORCED myself to “let go” of Facebook a l little over 2 years ago…..  I realized that my life was better WITHOUT it than with it!! ( insert tears here ) LOL

Like any other relationship, who could forget all the nights of staying up until the late hours into the morning! Getting in the car, catching the subway, walking down the public street, getting waited on in a restaurant holding up the line, almost getting hit by cars and buses because I was so focused reading what you had to say or wrote on my time line, what new photos were being put up, where did you go last night, what were you planning for the day etc!! Who would want to give all of that up!! ( LOL )

Nonetheless, I had to grow up and realize that it was indeed taking a vicious toll on my life that I didn’t like! LOL Blogging is better and more therapeutic for ME anyway….. Being on social networking sites can be great but being on a “social” site everyday like IT IS APART OF YOUR DAILY ROUTINE is “not normal”……..  If you do not believe me check YOUR OWN routine and see how many SOCIAL sites you actively participate on.

Dear ( ME )

A Sign!

Well…. maybe this could be a sign saying that I DRINK WAY TOO MANY ICE COFFEES!!!!

HOWEVER!!! I wont return back to this place because it has been in the HIGH 90’s since the end of May and how can a coffee establishment run out of ice!!!!!! Like really? I am not the only DESPERATE CUSTOMER who is upset and turning around leaving the store with a HUGE atittude… I mean disappointed… UUGGGHHH!!


Whitney Houston

This weekend was so so emotional for me watching the ” HOMEGOING SERVICE” for the lovely Whitney Houston. I grew up on her music and I was a fan then and I remained her fan until the time of her passing.

From my own experience being a Drug and Alcohol Case Manager, I have a WHOLE NEW position and view point on people in recovery. The group Narcotics Anonomys is something DEEP and you have to at least attend a few of their meetings to get ” a better grasp” on the disease. I am still blown away but hearing some of the stories from the recovering addicts because they are so transparent!

You have to attend a meeting to understand where I am coming from… I was just as judgemental as people WHO ARE NOT in addiction as well as the chuch world who felt may have looked their noses up or down at people who chose to live a certain life…. SHAME ON US ALL…..

She was someone’s Daughter – Sister – Aunt – Niece – God Daughter – Friend

I know that, indeed, nobody can force anyone to start taking drugs, yet for various reasons, many seemingly sane and normal folks decide on day to snort a line, puff a joint or shoot up.

These are bad decisions, but they are almost always accompanied by the idea that “I won’t get hooked, I’m different.” This willful blindness is not unusual. It is, in its own way, no different than folks who engage in extreme sports.

For those who dont know what extreme sports are, here you go!

People who like to ” TRY ” these extreme sports but end up dying behind it, I wonder if they too would get that type of back lash.

People who smoke and the SURGEON GENERAL has a warning label stating that these cigarettes can be harmful to your health… Do people who die from Lung Cancer get ridiculed?

None of them does so with the idea that they could become paralyzed or killed, but a good deal of them do. The fact is that NOT everyone who uses cocaine, smokes pot or injects heroine becomes addicted. I have heard some of my clients stating that they did a casual line and no small amount of pot before settling on alcohol as THEIR  “drug of choice.” (It was easier to get and seemed to be safer.)

They felt that they did not become addicted to any of it until a number of years passes. My point is merely to urge those of you who smugly blame Whitney for her addiction without looking at it as a little less cut and dry.

Yes, Whitney is responsible for reckless actions, but she would not be the first celebrity taken in by the lure of narcotics. Sometimes its fun for a star like Whitney to shed the “good girl” image and take a few risks. It is profoundly sad that she passed, and who knows what role Bobby played in any of this.

But please do not discount the fact that addiction is, in the parlance of the 12-step community, “cunning, baffling and powerful.” I know many good folks who, while battling chronic pain, became addicted to prescriptions of such drugs as Oxycontin and Vicodin. One does not have to be the victim of bad choices to become an addict.

Unless you walked in Whitney’s or Bobby’s shoes, you have no idea and should not judge.  Whitney even talked about how her mother raised her and although her mother supported her singing career, she didnt want her to be apart of the “worldly business” of Hollywood Stardom.  Whitney was raised and groomed by good stock, yes she had Aretha Franklin, Dionne Warwick and countless unamed people who supported her but it was HER MOTHER who always had her ear…. and Jesus Christ had her heart!

I totally know that sin, wrongful acts, disobedience, weight gain, stress, depression, addiction and a WHOLE HOST of other negative acts that can indeed destroy a person’s life >>>>>> does not discriminate… 

SIN ITSELF / WRONGFUL ACTS are all very, very cunning, baffling and powerful.

If you want to blame ANYONE for Whitney’s death…… Blame Whitney and MILLIONS of other people around the world for their decision to try drugs; do NOT blame her for her addiction.

If ANYTHING, I wonder how many even prayed for her soul and thank God if addiction has not come to visit your life.

I have always loved Whitney…prayed for her….supported her… and I always will….

Praying for the WHOLE family….. Bobby Kristina and Cissy Houston, Dionne Warwick, cousins, aunties, uncles, grandparents, Godparents, and close friends…….

And YES!!!  My prayers are extended also to  >>>>>   Bobby Brown


random thought on addicts and faith

Faith to a Christian ………. is what Drugs are to an  Addict…..They BOTH feel that it is a MUST for them…… typing on my phone when I blog is very challenging  so please excuse ANY typos! I just have to get these thoughts out of my head and released somewhere else! LOL

Anyway… back to addicts and Christians…..They BOTH need it (whatever their it is)  to function… They need it to obtain a better perspective…They need it because it gives them a sense of power…

Even though the “urge” that the believer and the drug addict may feel some of the same tendencies to maintain what they need to “keep them going” …….Faith does not harm you it helps…. Faith can cause you to lose things and gain things….but the final attributes will leave you on the winning side… Even the sinner knows that only things that are done in the name of God will last…

To establish strong faith you must ……MUST work on your personal relationship with God.. there is NO way around it… FAITH increases your life worth and Drugs decreases your life worth…. However…the SAD thing about the difference between a drug addict and a follower of Jesus is that ….  the drug addict will go to the ends of the earth to get that high…that fix etc.. but a great deal of Christians will not go as far as to their knees to get what they are in need of…. Christians need to crave Christ like Addicts crave drugs….they will DO ANYTHING to keep it apart of their daily living…….

Our relationship with God is similar to our relationship with others in that all relationships require faith. We can never fully know any other person. We cannot experience all they experience nor enter into their minds to know what their thoughts and emotions are. Proverbs 14:10 says, “The heart knows its own bitterness, and a stranger does not share its joy.” We are incapable of even knowing our own hearts fully. Jeremiah 17:9 says that the human heart is wicked and deceptive, “Who can know it?” In other words, the human heart is such that it seeks to hide the depth of its wickedness, deceiving even its owner. We do this through shifting blame, justifying wrong behavior, minimizing our sins, etc.

However in the END the real difference between drugs and FAITH is:  that one is a FANTASY and the other one is REALITY…….

So why settle for something that is soo temporary and can cost you to lose out on EVERYTHING in life?