“My son, keep your father’s commands and do not forsake your mother’s teaching.” ~ Proverbs 6:20
A mother and son relationship is a very unique one. Boys generally look up to their fathers or a father-figure for how to interact with others, show affection towards others, and respond to different situations. Hopefully, that father or father-figure is a good example to his son of God‘s love. But the mother, on the other hand, has a chance to show her son how a girl wants to be treated and how he should expect to be treated by the opposite sex. This will help him see what he can do to have better relationships in the future.
Communication is key. Listen to your child and give him your full attention when he is talking to you. Let him know that he is important and what he is thinking and feeling is of concern to you. Look him in the eye and be ready to answer any questions he may have for you. Even if the question seems silly to you, remember that he is younger and learning things for the first time. Don’t make him feel trivial.
Be a supporter. If you want your son to keep coming back to you for advice and to tell you things in confidence, you need to show him that you can be trusted. It is so easy to tell your friends about something “cute” your son told you last night, but if your son…..MY SON knew you were telling others, he would probably lose the desire to come to you as a confidant.
Be tender. Your advantage as a mother is that your son knows you have a more tender heart than a father or father-figure. In time, and with your trust, he knows he will be able to share things with you and get your expert advice from a woman’s perspective. Men sometimes brush things off a bit more easily and don’t see a boy’s feelings, and these are the times that your son will want your perspective.
Be an example. Part of developing a healthy relationship with a son is making sure that you are a good example to him. Actions really do speak louder than words. You cannot expect your son to know how to treat others with respect, if you are always fussing with your family members, friends, husband or mate, or say you will do something and never follow through. Think about the things you are doing and take an inventory on some areas of your life that you need to clean up. Do you watch objectionable TV shows that you don’t want your son to see? Maybe you should choose something different to watch.
Are you telling your son to eat his vegetables, while you are cramming down a hot fudge sundae? It has never said having a healthy relationship with your son was easy. It does take work and maybe a change in yourself, as well.
Be Flexible and Fun. REMEMBER – that you have a son and not a daughter for starters!! THEY want you to be cool, silly, supportive AND FUN! Regardless if it is making silly faces, playing video games with them, crack jokes, make loud noises, reading comic books togtether and playing ball etc. It may take you out of your comfort zone if you prefer to get ” all dolled up ” all the time…but you have to learn to be flexible for you son’s sake!
TRUST ME …… Your son adores you as his mother and wants the best for you…HOWEVER – he is also watching EVERYTHING that you do as well!
( MY very silky SON is soooo worth it )