Dear ( ME )

Wishful Thinking….


For me to STOP THINKING sooooooo much!! LOL The brain needs rest and so do I….. Any suggestions?

Being a mother

Being a big brother ( yes! although I am a female ) SILLY AND SCARY isn’t it

Being a big sister  ( although I am next to the baby in age )

Being a husband to my mother ( yes! that sounds crazy to but since my dad passed away almost 5 SHORT years ago – im it! ) don’t think dirty people

AND THE LIST I NOTICED……. as I was writing today literally just kept going on and on and ON!!! My hand did hurt and so did my head! ( too much )

Being any and everything TO EVERYONE is just plumb old exhausting and I gave up at least 10 of my 20 hats TODAY!!

I am soo proud of myself and God knows that the people who always wanted me to WEAR hats that I should have taken OFF a long time ago are in for a huge shock. Nontheless, they all will be ok and this too shall pass….

Whew…. Now I can breathe again……..

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Family

family moment


I had a VERY nice time with my another part of my family today….. it was such a REFRESHING time for all of us that we all shed tears! LOL

My nephews Isaiah and Lamar are such darlings!! They are soo precious and you can tell how their behavior blesses their own parents… their mom and dad has been through one rough patch for about 10 years! Then currently going through another one BUT GOD!!!! Fellowship is something that we all need and it can make a break our own mental state and ability to deal with others.

I cant wait to have a fun filled weekend with my little nephews in a few days! Movies, dinner, video games and snacks!!!! Everyone knows that I LOVE little boys and im excited to be able to give his parents a “night off” so that they can be a married couple instead of parents 24 hours a day. It is so important for couples to always make sure that they also maintain their OWN SPARK and I am obliged to assist my sister and brother in that area! Well with both Ron and Nikki being such good siblings also helps out as well! LOL

Now of course I know that this gives Jared a chance to have and be a BIG BROTHER like he always wanted! LOL …. Jared has asked me about adopting a younger brother or sister for over the past year and a half now… I told him if we did adopt, that it would MOST CERTAINLY be a boy and not a girl…  However he changes his mind from time to time then states that he wants a big brother!…. Which he already has an 18 1/2 year old brother and sister but niether of them come around to see about him so go figure!

Welp, speaking of BIG BROTHERS and all! 

 

Do you see my brother Ron above wearing that HORRID Pittsburgh Steeler jersey??? YIKES!! I tried to buy him and my little nephews a SPECTACULAR BALTIMORE RAVENS JERSEY >>>>>>      Ed Reed Jersey: Reebok Purple Replica #20 Baltimore Ravens Jerseybut it didnt work! LOL

Parenting

is getting a break fair?


Yup, here I am again JUST GETTING HOME because as usual, I am” running to and fro “ from one of my son’s activity’s after school and the evening’s sometime just become sooooooooooooo LONG! It was also my sister’s birthday so what was I going to do, not see her at all today? Well via the blog title…… ” is getting a break fair ” is from the aspect of being a mother….. Granted regardless if you are married or single…you are STILL a mother full time ( the good ones at least ) and I get that but being a single mother is a whole different ball game… It is a game that I personally want to sit out for at least 2 weeks because I am sooo tired..

God knows I love being a mother to my 9 year old because he indeed is an amazing kid, if I have to say so myself! I feel that under the circumstances of his father not being around, his uncles not being around and his brother and sister who are 18 not being around… God has surely showed me how to mold him into the Little Young Christian Prince, he is today………

HOWEVER!!!!!! >>>>>> oh my gosh!! I am wore out.. I think that this is just how I am feeling “presently” because although I have had days where I felt tired but they kind of always found their way to “pass 0ver”………. but what I have been feeling for the last 3 days is something I can tell is a tad bit different….. im just really tired and it took basically almost 10 years for me ” to really feel the pressure ” of it all im assuming.. He will be 10 years in May 2012 so yeah, he is basically 9 1/2 and I have been ” a trooper ” the whole way through but….. Lord.. Help me…… I am surley sending out my personal S.O.S. to you!

I tried to sign him up for big brothers and big sisters and that was too stressful to even to deal with. Their new policy about entering your child into their program consists of BOTH parents consenting that it is alright via legal paperwork…. This was due to a few incidents they stated of when a father would see his child out with another male but it was the Big Brother Mentor….the father did not know that and the father would attack the mentor etc. I understand that but I tried to tell the worker that in my situation that would NOT be the case and she said that may be true but she cannot make special changes for anyone…

So im like you want me to get consent from my son’s ABSENT father to say that it is okay for our son to participate in your program for kids who have parents that LACK involvement in their lives and that is the SOLE reason why your organization even exists? She laughed and said wow, putting it like that, it does not make sense but that is our new policy and your son’s father will have to sign legal forms saying that it is ok for your son to be around one of our male mentors! I said thank you for your explanation and time but no thank you to your program….

She asked me what was I going to do?….I said do what I have been doing….pray and ask the Lord to continue to lead and guide me on what to place my son in and who to have him around like I have been doing since he was born. He is in enough weekly activities to keep 3 kids busy so we will be fine…My mother was totally against it because she said it decreased my son’s chances of getting molested and with the Penn State Sex Scandal sadness I AM GLAD that the Big Brother / Big Sister legal red tape happened because it indeed transpired for a reason….

This post is NOT  a bashing post of my son’s father being absent from his life….. its almost 10 years so I am use to it I am talking about me as a mother thinking that the exhaustion of trying to be a good mother is just catching up to me with all of running around etc..etc..etc.. Any absentee parent is just missing out that is all….there is never a need to bash… for what? The proof is in the child that I am raising… my 9 1/2 year old is smart….wise..mature…and growing into a KINGDOM young man day by day so I have no regrets! I just pray to always remain the Godly Mother so that I can raise him adequately….