Helping Self...


Geesh!, It has been forever since I have been on –  but I have been so busy that I could hardly almost focus some days! Soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo much has been going on and I am STILL trying to figure out what to do “with it all”…….There is never enough time in the day or I am just trying to do just way too- too too much!

Whether I am Relocating or just moving to a different neighborhood, it seems to always be like a mini major mile stone!  The only thing that keeps me coming in and out of Pennsylvania is my mother – nothing more and nothing less…. There are other siblings but no one “looks after her” like I do and she knows that as well. So eventually moving to either one of those two coutnries that I used to blog about for months will have to be placed on hold.


Nonetheless, always “jumping in and out of the car” and going from state to state is something that seems to be very tiresome but it something that I will continue to do “for my mom”…. In no way, shape or form am I trying to kill her off or wish her dead but I will certainly stay close to Pennsylvania driving distance as long as she is alive!

I have visited New Jersey and loved a great deal of the areas like Alpine! Whew Jesus, is it so beautiful there!!! I have been going back and forth via the Maryland, Virginia and D.C. area for the last few years and it takes a TOLL on the body! It is so amazing that my son manages to have NEVER missed a day of school and I am grateful for that! He is so amazing… he does not care how often we just get up and go as long as he is with me he seems to stay happy! LOL

Oh also, as long as one of his friends gets to tag along as well, he stays busy with activities and he gets to see his grandmother every week he has no complaints! ( thank God )


BlackMail – 101

Make sure that the information that you have is WORTH a bargaining chip!!! LOL

I was able to get my son to sweep ALL the floors in the house and I ONLY HAD TO ASK HIM 1 TIME!!! Other than that, this photo was going to find “itself” into his friends bin while he was at summer camp! Talk about being embarrassed!

LOL – I would NOT have ever done anything like that to him.. BUT he did not know that! Therefore, that is how and why it is called blackmail!

What we parents have to go through with and for our wonderful kids these days! LOL

Dear ( ME )

God #covered me

I needed to be wrapped in the arms of Jesus ALL day today because my whole day was challenging from beginning to this evening!!! You ever just need a HUGE HUG and to be clothed in the word of God… I know that God surely covered me and my son today because I have the ability to be here to share it!!

Today I was in yet ANOTHER accident and this is the 5th one in the last 30 days!!! I was confused about it all at first but it surely is telling me that I am doing SOMETHING right in God’s eyes. It reminded me of Job and Joseph in the bible because Job didnt do anything wrong but God still allowed him to be tested and God allowed Joseph to be sold into slavery by his own brothers and he also did nothing wrong.

Although this sounds ever so backwards but we must recall that our ways arent God’s ways and vice versa. The accident today in all honesty had me feeling that I was either going t die and go over some enbankment or get hurt REALLY bad! But GOD!! He guided that car and took the wheel…

I  mean with my son screaming in the back seat I was amazed how calm I was but ever soooo scared and severely frightened of what was going on…. Literally my mind went to thinking of  my life and asking God to forgive me from my sins ….things knowing and unknowing… calling the name of JESUS out and just proclaiming LIFE but I had such a CALM SPIRIT during the accident while my car was slipping on ice which made the car take off into A CEMEMTARY going at least 20 miles an hour dodging cemetary plots! The only thing that is wrong with the car is a crack in the rear view mirror…can you beleive that! My son was shaken for a good 4 hours and I am just really calming down myself… GEESH..

To  make the situation even more disturbing was that there was a WHOLE LINE OF CARS that stopped on the road ” to watch ” my car slip, slide and drive out of control…..When the car finally stopped sliding… all 6 cars KEPT GOING!! The first vehicle was a TOW TRUCK!!!! No one stopped or pulled over to see if me and my son was okay or anything.. I was sitting there thinking ..WOW, is the world really ” that bad now “….and if so ……dag! I would not even think to just keep going etc.. I mean scream out the window or something and yell, are you guys alright…do you need a cell phone something… Whew a mess…a shocker…a wake up call..

I am fine and so is my son and God made sure that we walked away with all of our limbs….and most importantly our lives.

God I am so grateful and I curse the enemy and the strongholds and I am covered well in the blood of Jesus… it covers me where ever I am …. I am so happy to be covered…………………

Whew.. good night..

Dear ( ME )

Car Moments….

 Do you ever notice that while you are in “the car” alot of things seem to make sense, you obtain 1,000 revelations, you become empowered etc? Why is it? Welp, besides via the “music” that we choose to play while driving…..our spirit  man is always speaking to us as well.

Now whether we can hear or we choose to listen is indeed a whole new story! I listen to gospel and soft pop every morning but different artists and this morning I did not even want to get out of the car “in fear” that all of my mental / intellectual juices would stop flowing!! The music, the car and my mind were ALL in tune and I wanted to make mental music that involved forward movement with my personal aspirations, relationship with Christ and getting my out of control family together! Now for some reason, my pen started writing really fast when I was focusing on the topics via my personal goals and aspirations in this life….

Then of course when it comes to Christ…..your mind has “no where to go” but up!! So I was feeling like a Spiritual Wonder Woman and writing and humming then smiling and say oh yeah..God that is good! LOL, I continued thinking and getting like 100 tactics in my mind of how to go about doing these new ventures….. I started getting overwhelemd and sat there like a FEMALE RAIN MAN! …..

It was like sooooooooooooooooooo much information going through the atmosphere that I was like God… information overload…or information freeze! ( like brain freeze when you drink icey cold frozen beverages and they go down tooooo fast ) Nonetheless, I was enjoying it and wanted to continue the flow that I was headed in… Welp, the REAL test of my flow came when it was time to write, think and deal with my family! Yikes is all that I could feel and think at that moment… The flow slowly decreased almost like a turtle’s speed and I had to think was it me? Did I speak it out into the atmosphere….did I just assume that there wouldnt be any productive solutions to the 10,00000000 issues that are present?

Geesh.. even typing about this at this very moment is making my stomach hurts…. Yeah…. family is my thorn.. I fight to keep it and the individuals apart of it so OF COURSE……the enemy attacks me and EVERY ASPECT of family and I am sooo over it. Families are soo beautiful via what they represent and what they can do when they unite together….My family is NO different than others in some form or fashion, however….. growth and communication is a need for so many. Everyone is moving but in “different directions” and it leaves The Road to Victory in the rear view mirror at times! I know that God will do whatever needs to be done and all parties involved will eventually see the light.

This blog sometimes represents how my days go….the blog started off like high octane fuel and slowly “but surely” ended with cheap watered down gas! However, I have learned the devices that the enemy uses to shift me into another mood and now that I know… I can “deal better” and I smile..pray and move >>>>>>>ON!

Cant wait to get back into >>>> the car! LOL

Welp now that I back in the car…

here is Jared giving me directions on where I should go next in my life >>>>> to his Christian Kids Club meeting! Gosh I love him