Ministry

Church – Funnies!


CHANGING A LIGHT BULB THE CHRISTIAN WAY
How many Christians does it take to change a light bulb?
Charismatic
: Only 1 Hands are already in the air.
Pentecostal
: 10 One to change the bulb, and nine to pray against the spirit of darkness.
Presbyterians
: None Lights will go on and off at predestined times.
Roman Catholic
: None Candles only.
Baptists
: At least 15.
One to change the light bulb, and three committees to approve the change and decide who brings the Potato salad and fried chicken .
Episcopalians: 3 One to call the electrician, one to mix the drinks and one to talk about how much better the old one was.
Mormons
: 5 One man to change the bulb, and four wives to tell him how to do it.
Unitarians
 : We choose not to make a statement either in favor of or against the need for a light bulb. However, if in your own journey you have found that light bulbs work for you, you are invited to write a poem or compose a modern dance about your light bulb for the next Sunday service, in which we will explore a number of light bulb traditions, including incandescent, fluorescent, 3-way, long-life and tinted, all of which are equally valid paths to luminescence.
Methodists
: Undetermined
Whether your light is bright, dull, or completely out, you are loved. You can be a light bulb, turnip bulb, or tulip bulb. Bring a bulb of your choice to the Sunday lighting service and a covered dish to pass.

Nazarene : 6 One woman to replace the bulb while five men review church lighting policy.
Lutherans
: None Lutherans don’t believe in change.

Amish
: What’s a light bulb??
Advertisements
Helping Self...

From Me To THEM –


God does not give me what I can handle…… He helps me handle the things that I am given…. It has taken me about 7 years to get to this point – BUT unfortunately – I am here….. Realizing when individuals choose to walk out of your life…regardless if they are friends, husands….wives…sisters..brothers..sons…daughters etc… You HAVE TO LET THEM GO, no  matter hard it may be to do.

There is honestly no need to CONTINUE wasting time on situations that seem to have died and the players involved have indeed left the game with you standing on the field all ALONE! When people choose to leave, why hold onto to something or someone who continues to put on display that they do not desire to be bothered?

After a while.., you must realize that your future may eventually NO LONGER be tied to them…..so stop trying to make knots out of rope that is meant to  be cut! OUCH!!! I know right! Will you miss these people who ONCE PLAYED A HUGE part in your life? Of course… will you get over it? of course… will it take time? of course… can you do it? of course…. will you eventually get through it? OF COURSE!

If God got me this far…..then He will get me through and take me from where I was to where I am suppose to be!

Dear ( ME )

Feeling A Bit New!


It’s a new season
It’s a new day
A fresh anointing
Is coming my way

It’s a season of power
And prosperity
It’s a new season
Coming to me

=========================================

Who would have thought that 8 verses could be so life changing?

I dont care how many times that I hear this song and it does not matter who even sings it …..A shift happens in the atmosphere for me as well as around me!