Being a Mom is a tough job emotionally and spiritually and I have the wounds to prove it!!! The last 3 weeks have been like UGGGHHH in regards to my teenage kids….
My son has had a prom and a graduation and have NON – CHALANTLY wanted me to be involved UNLESS it was financially…. I just said Lord, please help me get through this ADDITIONAL MILESTONE in my life as well as theirs! What child calls their mother and says with an ” i dont care attitude ” …………
1. Oh by the way mom, my prom is on such ‘n such date and you can come if you want to!!!!!!!!!! ( advised me 2 days BEFORE prom ) even after he called me out of the blue and asked me for currency for his prom and I gave it to him. I asked myself, should I have KNOWN about and been apart of the planning process!
2. Oh mom, you didnt show up to my prom and my graduation is on such ‘ such date and you can come if you want to!!!!! ( advised me 4 days BEFORE graduation )
Why was I not involved in this WHOLE PROCESS as your mom? We did have this talk about me wanting to know when, where, what, who etc.. and you can get what you need!
Honestly, I was praying about this whole SENIOR HIGH SCHOOL YEAR in regards to my teenage twins and then I discovered that although I think that I snapped INTERNALLY but I was always STRUGGLING with ” standing my ground ” because I am MOM…..
However, being mom all of these painful years to them have brought me NOTHING but heartache 80% percent of the time and I no longer felt that my heart…my feelings…were not able to deal with anymore constant emotional and mental abuse.. So I was forced to totally be obedient now and take off the MOTHER hat and put on the SPIRITUAL WARFARE hat and operate on that level.
Oh……. Oh …….. Oh…. God was it a struggle in more ways than one! God showed me that too many times have I instructed them both on what is acceptable and not acceptable when it pertains to me and my household and they HAVE ALWAYS CHOSE to do the opposite of what I expected… Each day of the week it was ALWAYS something different and I bascially took control of my own life and relationship with them… and put it all on the table. If you want a productive – healthy – christian relationship with me, things will have to change. Not even totally overnight but things HAVE TO CHANGE.
Welp, it lasted about 45 days with my daughter and off an on 3 to 5 months for my son but it was STILL unstable in the making… Having the talk with my son totally EXPLAINING WHAT I EXPECTED I felt was good because he stated he understood and ” I assumed that all was well “….. but within 30 days – it was short lived AGAIN. My Structure – my Faith – my God – my Life etc…etc..etc.. just did not sit well with him.
It was and is sooooooooooooo unfortunate how kids choose wrong paths because of their own doing as well as being INFLUENCED with lies from other family members that are in their lives. Nonetheless, in the end as a woman of Faith and knowing what God told me – ALL IS WELL and I am on the right path for VICTORY!
People may not understand my past – present and future decision making pertaining to MY KIDS but until they look at the WHOLE real picture and seek what the Lord is saying – they never will.
THE BEST PART IS – FINALLY I DONT CARE! I pray for their souls and await on God’s instructions before I do ANYTHING else on their behalf because it surely is NOT a Tough Love approach but it is Spiritual Warfare.