Recognize It….

Regardless if it is men on men …..female on female …..male on female or female on male –

October is The National Domestic Violence Awareness Month

Just stop it….#that’sall 

Women's Stuff

It’s Mental

Your mental health is very important. You will not have a healthy body  if you don’t also take care of your mind. People depend on you. It’s important  for you to take care of yourself so that you can do the important things in  life  —  whether it’s working, learning, taking care of your family,  volunteering, enjoying the outdoors, or whatever is important to you. ( etc…etc..etc..etc.. )

Good mental health helps you enjoy life and cope with problems. It  offers a feeling of well-being and inner strength. Just as you take care of  your body by eating right and exercising, you can do things to protect your  mental health. In fact, eating right and exercising can help support good  mental health. You don’t automatically have good mental health just because you don’t have mental health illness. You have to work to keep your mind healthy.

Remember to always make time  for you. It’s important to care for yourself. Think of this as an  order from your doctor, so you don’t feel guilty! No matter how busy you are,  you can try to set aside at least 15 minutes each day in your schedule to do  something for yourself, like taking a bubble bath, going for a walk, or calling  a friend.  Being a WOMAN means that we are ALL wearing multiple hats whether by CHOICE or not….. we are wearing them. So why not do our best in taking care / better care of ourselves.. It really indeed all starts mentally because if the mind goes, then so will everything else!

Please make it a point to live and be mentally healthy starting >>>>>>>>NOW!

Women's Stuff

Evening Book Reading

 This poem that I just read REALLY was enlightening for me and it is soooo something that  I could have written myself! This lady literally just seems as if she is just so free from STUFF that I was so moved that I had to share my Nighly Poem read. image

She Let Go

Without a thought or a word, she let go.
She let go of fear. She let go of judgments. She let go of the
confluence of
opinions swarming around her head.
… She let go of the committee of indecision within her. She let go of all the
‘right’ reasons.
Wholly and completely, without hesitation or worry, she just let go.
She didn’t ask anyone for advice. She didn’t read a book on how to let go.
She just let go.
She let go of all the memories that held her back. She let go of all of the
anxiety that kept her from moving forward.
She let go of the planning and all of the calculations about how to do it
right. She didn’t promise to let go. She didn’t journal about it.
She didn’t write the projected date in her Day-Timer. She made no public
announcement. She didn’t check the weather report or read her daily
She just let go.
She didn’t analyze whether she should let go. She didn’t call her
friends to
discuss the matter. She didn’t utter one word.
She just let go.
No one was around when it happened. There was no applause or
No one thanked her or praised her. No one noticed a thing.
Like a leaf falling from a tree, she just let go.
There was no effort. There was no struggle. It wasn’t good. It wasn’t bad.
It was what it was, and it is just that.
In the space of letting go, she let it all be. A small smile came over her
face. A light breeze blew through her.
And the sun and the moon shone forevermore.
Here’s to giving ourselves the gift of letting go…
There’s only one guru ~ you.

WRITTEN BY: Jennifer Eckert Bernau

Helping Self...

mental sickness in the church

In everyone’s lives, there are periods of sadness, discouragement, or difficulty in adjusting to new situations. It’s not unusual to experience these feelings, but they can become a concern if they are frequent or prolonged or if
they interfere in daily life.

This is reality but is shunned to discuss in the African American churches and it is done via embarrassment or the denial factor. Just to be frank, alot of people in the church are very much STRESSED and DEPRESSED and it goes either unrecognized or people turn the other cheek. No one wants to deal with it, no one wants to admit it, no one wants to put in the time for it but it is REAL and wont go away until you learn what it is and how to run it out of your life.

As leaders and fellow lay members, it is important to not only be able to RECOGNIZE issues but more importantly deal with them. If you are not skilled, dont be afraid to admit it but be wise and fair to yourself and the people that you are trying to help by pointing the >>>>> into the right direction!

If it is really about helping your brother or sister, you will not worry about getting any pats on the back or accolades… UNITY doesnt care who gets the recognition.

The African American church or should I say a very high percentage of the church handles matters that are “easy for them” to deal with and handle. Nonetheless, that is not what the church is mandated to be for. The church is what African Americans call a ” Spiritual Hospital ” where people come to get well, get check ups, operations etc. in the spiritual sense. However, some that come in to the Spiritual Hospital most times leave worse off than how they came in the door. So the church sometimes is viewed as a bootleg place of healing.

People have MAJOR problems and have a hard time seeking out help due to these situations that I have just explained and things in their lives continue to grow and fester for the worse. It is very unfortunate that certain matters get swept under the rug and people are walking in and out of the church MENTALLY confused or dead. If a person’s mind is not stable then how can ANYTHING else be?

Scripture tells us in James 1: 8 that a double – minded man is unstable in ALL that he does / all of his ways…. Which boils down to the lack of focus and if you cant focus than your outcomes will indeed be incomplete / go without finished.

Unfortunately, it is often too difficult for people to seek support for their concerns. As a friend or family member, how do you know when you should encourage someone to get professiona and spiritual counseling? How can you help someone in need? What types of things would you consider urgent?


First, you need to recognize the signs that indicate that someone needs help. Mental Health America has a short list of general symptoms that can apply to a number of mental health conditions. In adults, signs include:

  • confused thinking
  • prolonged depression (sadness or irritability)
  • feelings of extreme highs and lows
  • excessive fears, worries, and anxieties
  • social withdrawal
  • dramatic changes in eating or sleeping habits
  • strong feelings of anger
  • delusions or hallucinations
  • growing inability to cope with daily problems and activities
  • suicidal thoughts
  • denial of obvious problems
  • numerous unexplained physical ailments
  • substance abuse

If a friend, family member, or fellow student is experiencing any of these symptoms and/or you have noticed changes in that person’s academic life, in behavior with others, and in daily habits, he or she may be experiencing something more than just stress. This person may benefit from talking to a health care professional about how they are feeling.

What can you do to help? If you have decided to approach a friend, family member, or fellow student about your concerns, here are some suggestions that might be useful. Talk to the individual in private when both of you have time and are not rushed.

  • Express your concern in specific nonjudgmental terms that reflect your
    concern for the well-being of the individual.
  • Listen to this person’s thoughts and feelings in a sensitive, nonthreatening way.
  • Let the friend, family member, or fellow student know that you believe a
    consultation with a health care professional, like a staff member at CAPS, could be helpful.
  • If he or she becomes defensive, simply restate your concerns and recommendations.

If you are approached by an individual seeking advice for problems he or she
is experiencing, you can be supportive in a number of ways.

  • Offer emotional support through understanding, patience, and encouragement.
  • Engage the person in conversation and listen carefully.
  • Do not disparage feelings expressed, but point out realities and offer hope.
  • If you think this person is likely to harm him/herself, don’t be scared to
    call for medical attention. Sometimes the best way to be a friend is to get
    help, now. You could be saving a life.

The most important thing anyone can do for a person suffering from a mental health problem is to help him or her get an appropriate diagnosis and treatment from a health care professional but indeed realize that it causes prayer to come forth!

Spiritually speaking >>>> I am not a big fan <<<<<<< on grabbibg a presciption to take away your issues because that is how people become addicts or at least one way it can occur. No one wants to ever talk and disclose what is really going on with them for a few reasons. There is no real value in keeping things private in today’s church.

Therefore, that has people walkign around almost like zombies and dressed up on the outside but messed up on the inside. The zombie / Charlie Sheen appraoch…. you are making people laugh and making slogans such as ” WINNING ” but inside and your actions on the outside surely shows the world that you are indeed ” LOSING “……

Read PSLAM 1 and you will see that talking and sharing with someone ( the right people ) not only helps but also makes sense!

Helping Self..., Inspiration

School Pick Up

I accused my son of doing something and he promised that he was not the one who did it. It made logical sense to ask him and assume that he was the culprit with the evidence that I had. I looked into the matter for a few days then forgot it. Then it came  back up and I started to work on the issue at hand only to find out that it was NOT Jared at all!

Talk about >>>bone crushing<<< feeling! I felt so horrid because I recall when I told him that I did not beleive him, he cried and everything. He did not cry because I yelled at him, which that is something that I try not to do at all. He is a smart boy and has good hearing, so there is no need for either of us to yell! LOL Anyway, it was the fact that he knew that I didnt beleive him is what hurted him the most.

Therefore, I couldnt wait to pick him up from school so that I could apologize to him, give him a hug, tell him how his #AWESOME-NESS as a son blesses me and of course I said a quick prayer with him, gave him a high five and we jumped in the car to go!

When you apologize to someone — and really mean it — it’s because you have stopped to think about how the person may have felt because of what you did or said. When you stop to think about the other person’s feelings, you begin to feel sorry for your behavior. You might even feel embarrassed or ashamed if you did something that you knew was wrong.

Even if what happened was an accident or you did something you didn’t mean to do, you would probably still feel sorry if you knew the other person’s feelings were hurt. After apologizing, you might feel a little better (the other person probably will, too). When you apologize in a caring way, you can feel good because you are trying to make things right again.

Kids aren’t perfect and they sometimes do things that get them into trouble. Saying “I’m sorry” can help. I reminded him that saying you’re sorry is called apologizing. When a person does  apologize, you’re telling someone that you’re sorry for the hurt you caused, even if you didn’t do it on purpose. People who are apologizing might also say that they will try to do better. They might promise to fix or replace what was broken or take back a mean thing they said. Regradless of the age bracket, EVERYONE has feelings and that should be respected. These are the types of conversations that me and my son have. Instructing at an early age and making sure that he understands the importance of even the little things. It is imperative to me that my son is a well rounded child who will grow into a respected teenager that will lead him into a humble, honorable and righteous living MAN who will be READY to mold someone else. My son Jared >>#rocks!