Tennis Mom ……yeah he plays!
Basketball Mom……yeah he plays!
Chess Mom……..yeah he plays!
Baseball Mom….yeah he plays!!
Tenor Saxophone Mom…..yeah he plays!
Mothers and sons really do have a unique relationship. Mothers are as much responsible for how their sons are raised as fathers, and while it should be a great time in your life to grow a young man, it should not be taken lightly.
Mothers are really the key to how your son will treat his wife one day! Knowing your balance in the relationship and keeping open communication are so important.
Really, your son is taking all sorts of mental notes about how you react to him and others, and he is learning more than you think!
I woke up today STILL thinking of this past weekend and the Funeral / Home – Going Service Celebration of my FIRST male example in ministry. Pastor Tim was a pastor that loves – not because God is in his heart but because he is in the heart of God.
His thoughts, actions and messages to the congregation always come from the heart of God. He was a great man that really is driven by his passion for God and his vision for God’s vision. Pastor Tim worked tirelessly in ministry and I have never seen him give any less prayer, time and energy to someone else’s vision than he did to his own. Even though he was a pastor, he was an extraordinary servant and an even more exemplary as a worshipper. He consistently encouraged us to become worshippers of God more than anything, regardless of our age.
He was concerned about the whole person and his lifestyle is one that can be mimicked in the church, at home or at work. He was a proud husband and father and goes to great lengths to protect his family sometimes praying over them all night long. Always instructing them in how to hear God; draw near to God; honor God; give God all!
He was especially special to me on a personal note because he trained my mother to a place in God where I was actually able to see who God really was and what He can do. She was MY EXAMPLE because he became HER EXAMPLE.
Everyone who walked into the doors of Christian Temple was actually able to start fresh in the kingdom. It was life changing for me. And that’s what Pastor Tim did for many of us–change lives!
Pastor Tim was a father figure to many and I will deeply miss him….
Being able to share priceless moments is a blessing and my son appreciates all the male mentors in his life. Besides another male mentor that is in his life, no one can bring a smile to his face like this man.
We actually even talked about no matter what community event or church function we are at and he sees him, he becomes ax excited young man. I told him that I know he indeed loves his father, but he does NOT SMILE, GIGGLE, CHUCKLE, GET EXCITED the same way when he is with his father v.s. this man.
My son met him about 5 -6 years ago and he loved him from day one and my son said to me today that he can tell that he has a good relationship with God. I said yes baby, he is special and has a great deal of characteristics that people just don’t see nor experience anymore from men in ministry.
He said he wish that his father had the same type of Jesus on him!!!! I tried MY BEST to keep my facial expressions together but inside I did know AND UNDERSTAND what my son was speaking about. It is not always about how much time a person spends with my son rather than the impact of what is done for him in the time is spent with him.
Of course I never have or ever will speak harshly about his father to him but kids ARE VERY HONEST about their feelings!! What they see as well as what they feel!!! My son is an Old Soul anyway…
Anyway, this Pastor / Bishop is a very nice……kind ….caring man of God who engages my son’s mind, soul and spirit and I am grateful that their connection was tactfully started years ago and is still very magnetic to my son from the moment he sees him.
This Bishop surely loves people and has a heart for REAL MINISTRY and he carries the scent of compassion that it’s soooooooooooo contagious!!!
“My son, keep your father’s commands and do not forsake your mother’s teaching.” ~ Proverbs 6:20
A mother and son relationship is a very unique one. Boys generally look up to their fathers or a father-figure for how to interact with others, show affection towards others, and respond to different situations. Hopefully, that father or father-figure is a good example to his son of God‘s love. But the mother, on the other hand, has a chance to show her son how a girl wants to be treated and how he should expect to be treated by the opposite sex. This will help him see what he can do to have better relationships in the future.
Communication is key. Listen to your child and give him your full attention when he is talking to you. Let him know that he is important and what he is thinking and feeling is of concern to you. Look him in the eye and be ready to answer any questions he may have for you. Even if the question seems silly to you, remember that he is younger and learning things for the first time. Don’t make him feel trivial.
Be a supporter. If you want your son to keep coming back to you for advice and to tell you things in confidence, you need to show him that you can be trusted. It is so easy to tell your friends about something “cute” your son told you last night, but if your son…..MY SON knew you were telling others, he would probably lose the desire to come to you as a confidant.
Be tender. Your advantage as a mother is that your son knows you have a more tender heart than a father or father-figure. In time, and with your trust, he knows he will be able to share things with you and get your expert advice from a woman’s perspective. Men sometimes brush things off a bit more easily and don’t see a boy’s feelings, and these are the times that your son will want your perspective.
Be an example. Part of developing a healthy relationship with a son is making sure that you are a good example to him. Actions really do speak louder than words. You cannot expect your son to know how to treat others with respect, if you are always fussing with your family members, friends, husband or mate, or say you will do something and never follow through. Think about the things you are doing and take an inventory on some areas of your life that you need to clean up. Do you watch objectionable TV shows that you don’t want your son to see? Maybe you should choose something different to watch.
Are you telling your son to eat his vegetables, while you are cramming down a hot fudge sundae? It has never said having a healthy relationship with your son was easy. It does take work and maybe a change in yourself, as well.
Be Flexible and Fun. REMEMBER – that you have a son and not a daughter for starters!! THEY want you to be cool, silly, supportive AND FUN! Regardless if it is making silly faces, playing video games with them, crack jokes, make loud noises, reading comic books togtether and playing ball etc. It may take you out of your comfort zone if you prefer to get ” all dolled up ” all the time…but you have to learn to be flexible for you son’s sake!
TRUST ME …… Your son adores you as his mother and wants the best for you…HOWEVER – he is also watching EVERYTHING that you do as well!
( MY very silky SON is soooo worth it )
I remember when I was little and me and my brother used to hide money in yards when we were little… those were the days and LIFE seemed so much easier…. Waking up every Saturday morning and trying to find all of the places that we hid our jars filled with money made it so fun!! We also found out that some of the jars that we end up finding were placed there by our dad!!
So you can imagine – how exciting these weekends were! LOL
Now looking at the record player brings back MASSIVE memories as well, especially when my daddy bought my very first album!
It was Michael Jackson’s THRILLER album and I was the happiest little girl in the world….. whew lawwd I was so loving my dad for that!! I am assuming that is why my bond seemed so strong toward his music and his life…. my daddy felt listening to Michael Jackson was safe and he did not seem to mind that I even had a crush on a boy that was at least 15 yeas older than me! RIGHT!!
He also bought me my very first poster of him as well….. My father used to catch me kissing the poster on my wall and I had tons of lipstick marks all over Michael Jackson’s lips! ( NOT TO MENTION, that I kissed him in the same spot on the poster soooo much that his lips started to rip through the paper! )….
LOL He bought me a brand new poster and told me not to do it again…. I did not listen because instead of kissing the poster with LIPSTICK….I started sneaking in my oldest sister’s make up bag and using her lip gloss and my dad’s chap stick…. LOL …. I was soo funny and thought Michael Jackson was the BEST THING since jelly shoe sandals….. LOL
Ugghhh…. oh how I miss my father who passed away……it will be 5 LONELY years February 18, 2013!!! With my birthday being TOMORROW – February 12, 2013 for me to even be writing a blog with any type of laughter is A MIRACLE….. I have not really full fledge celebrated my birthday in almost 3 years… Last year, my dark cloud started to lift and now it is COMPLETELY GONE!!! >>>>Whew – my daddy would be even more proud of me!
My son had a soccer game today and did VERY VERY well…. his team won, the score was 12 to 5 and he made 3 of the points and made 2 saves as well! I felt that things that went on with him today was full of sincerity……it was LONG OVERDUE as well.
As you can see….. my baby was on a move and a mission trying to make a play! I was / am so proud of him… it is a blessing to be able to see your kids have fun, be active and happy. He really is a good ( SPOILED ) respectful child..
His father ACTUALLY CAME TO HIS GAME!!!!!!!!!!!!! Yes, that is a great deal of exclamation points… you guys know a few of my previous posts about the father situation… God is moving and I pray that things continue to flow….( for my son’s sake )
My son was so happy and as a mom, indeed so was I….. He came bearing gifts! ( my son has everything seriosuly….but that isnt the point! )
My baby is grateful when ANYONE blesses him but when it is someone who has the ability to touch his heart strings makes him feel like he is on Cloud 9. Seeing my son baby happy ……is a feeling that I cannot describe. It is is sooooooo important for BOTH parents to be involved in their children’s lives. Sons and daughters NEED both their mothers and fathers because each party pours different things into them. That is how God intended it……this is how I would love for it to be as well.