Ministry

Church – Funnies!


CHANGING A LIGHT BULB THE CHRISTIAN WAY
How many Christians does it take to change a light bulb?
Charismatic
: Only 1 Hands are already in the air.
Pentecostal
: 10 One to change the bulb, and nine to pray against the spirit of darkness.
Presbyterians
: None Lights will go on and off at predestined times.
Roman Catholic
: None Candles only.
Baptists
: At least 15.
One to change the light bulb, and three committees to approve the change and decide who brings the Potato salad and fried chicken .
Episcopalians: 3 One to call the electrician, one to mix the drinks and one to talk about how much better the old one was.
Mormons
: 5 One man to change the bulb, and four wives to tell him how to do it.
Unitarians
 : We choose not to make a statement either in favor of or against the need for a light bulb. However, if in your own journey you have found that light bulbs work for you, you are invited to write a poem or compose a modern dance about your light bulb for the next Sunday service, in which we will explore a number of light bulb traditions, including incandescent, fluorescent, 3-way, long-life and tinted, all of which are equally valid paths to luminescence.
Methodists
: Undetermined
Whether your light is bright, dull, or completely out, you are loved. You can be a light bulb, turnip bulb, or tulip bulb. Bring a bulb of your choice to the Sunday lighting service and a covered dish to pass.

Nazarene : 6 One woman to replace the bulb while five men review church lighting policy.
Lutherans
: None Lutherans don’t believe in change.

Amish
: What’s a light bulb??
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Inspiration

Nothing is 100% Copyrighted – Original


anyone want the orig?

I beleive everyone and eveything has SOME PARTS that are not original…. I mean you figure even if you dont want to beleive it that is fine but just think about this for a second… It is like a huge tree that has been planted but the branches seem to take on their own lives and identities. ONLY 1 person can claim the originality of planting that tree – the foundation but once the tree starts to grow – and each branch grows differently and even looks differently. Just dont be a CARBON COPY of someone else and I feel that you may end up living a great life…..

Ummm,  ASK YOURSELF these questions and when you are done- just know that there is something in your life / about your life that “assisted you ” in making this decisions!

Why do you follow the religion that you do?

Why do live where you live?

Why do you socialize where you do?

Why did you choose the school you attending?

Why are you married to your mate?

Why do you raise your kids the way that you do?

Why do you….. umm yeah…. Why do you……do almost anything that you do?

You copied something that you saw – does that make it BAD? No, but just to prove a TINY little point that we all copy a variety things in life – Point is NOT to copy EVERY little thing. Please MAKE ROOM / LEAVE ROOM for “some originality” of & for yourself!

Inspiration

just a thought


 

This is why I love everybody!!! LOL The people that make sense and ” especially ” the people that DONT!

Nonetheless, Atheism is the choice to not believe in any supernatural deity or supreme being. Atheists tend to be pragmatists with a rational, logical outlook on the world. Typically, they are raised in the religion of their culture but become jaded by what they see as the inconsistency and sometimes outright hypocrisy of their religion. Add to this a questioning , skeptical world view, and you have the makings of an atheist. atheists are rationalists. They choose not to believe in a god because there is no theory of any sort that any alleged god exists. This is called the scientific method.

To prove something you must experiment and come up with results that back up your hypothesis. They dont believe in a god or a higher power BUT it fascinates me when something TRAGIC HAPPENS, ” they too scream out and say” >> OH GOD! ( I surely wonder who are they calling on!! )

Anyway, only when you get results do you have a theory, but if more studies are done that prove the theory wrong, the new idea is honored and we grow from it. Believing in a deity has done nothing to promote progress. It is used to justify wars and individual murders. It teaches one to be humble and admit weakness and to put your life in such God‘s hands instead of being proud, responsible, and personally empowered.

Becoming an atheist is like a child getting over his fear of monsters under the bed. It just happens when you are mature enough to stand on your own mentally – but overall they have rejected God regardless what god they serve. ( it is still a form of rejecting “something” )

Maybe they need a good massage to open up their mind, body, soul and spirit!

 

Relationships

fellowship #random


Fellowship is something that can improve your mental, physical, spiritual, emotional and even at times your fiancial state! LOL

The girl in the photo above with me reminds me of my own baby sister in alot of ways…and also of my 18 1/2 year old daughter….. She has showed me that God can redeem anyone…. her testimony even AMAZES me and she is such a bright and loving girl who just needs another chance ” at life “…. God has already given it to her and i also desire to help her…

TRUST ME…..I dont have the mind set that I can save her or anyone else but it is everyone’s responsibility to help those that are in need with God’s divine instruction…. Love is free and that is what I freely give and show to ALL…..

However, being able to share your life with friends and family regardless if they are blood or not is a blessing.

Happiness and Joy are my two friends that I have been able to hang with for almost a year now and I love them to pieces! Now along the way meeting new friends has also been great because they have opened my eyes up in areas that I realized that my compassion was VERY LOW.

Being around people with a much harder lifestyle that I have been given showed me that what i was going through was indeed tough BUT NOT HORRIBLE like it FELT LIKE!

Having fellowships with different circles can also help make you grow and really discover things about yourself…so I say be open to it… Jesus fellowshipped with the multitudes… everyone didnt look alike REGARDLESS if most of them were Jewish…… they all had different backgrounds and appearances… but the commn denominator was Jesus so that is all that really mattered….

I always tell my clients…. that if it is NOT a sin, if it will NOT cause harm to yourself or nobody else and if it is NOT illegal than why not try to do something new for yourself? Have fun and learn to enjoy life! Dont wait like I did spending all of my 20’s and 30’s being super deep, never taking a break, always…ALWAYS being too serious because it was wasted time….

It is 2012 and we are LIVING in the last days that the bible talked about and I am not going to continue living below what God would want for me…..