Dear ( ME )

Asking God For Things –


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I asked God to take my pain away. God said, No. It is not for me to take away,
but for you to give it up. I asked God to make my dying father better 5 years ago. God said, No. His spirit was whole, his body was only temporary.

I asked God to grant me patience. God said, No. Patience is a by-product of tribulations, it isn’t granted, it is earned. I asked God to give me happiness. God said, No. I give you blessings, Happiness is indeed up to you.

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 I asked God to spare me pain in regards to my my 11 year old’s father being an absentee father and 20 year old twin kids wordly actions. God said, No. Suffering draws you apart from worldly cares and brings you closer to me.

I asked God to make my spirit grow. God said, No. You must grow on your own,
but I will prune you to make you fruitful. I asked for all things that I might enjoy life. God said, No. I will give you life so that you may enjoy all things.
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I ask God to help me LOVE others, as much as he loves me. God said…….. Ahhhh, finally you have the idea!!!!

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Helping Self...

Ugghhh!


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Ummm….. yeah  – lately I have been very irritated and there a thousands reasons why!!!

I honestly do not even think that there is  ENOUGH  blog space on the internet for me to share!!

Yesterday and today have been very testy for me……..  I mean sometimes I am feeling just a tad bit out of it…. UGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHH, Do you hear me? Can you see me? Do you feel sorry for me? Do you want to help me? LOL

My first name MUST be Miss No Coleman for a few months until I am able to breathe……. Yeah, im ranting and raving but I will be okay….

Even an ENCOURAGER needs to be ENCOURAGED at times…. and this is MY MOMENT that I am trying to encouraging myself and it starts with telling everyone NO…..for a little while!  (so serious )…..

Nonetheless, this too shall pass and I will continue finding ways to maintain my peace and happiness….

Dear ( ME )

Ugghh – Back To The GYM Tonight!


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I so love ME and my own  journey in this weight loss process! I have been FIGHTING to get my last 25 off of me for a few months now. I got comfy with my size 6 and 8 clothes and now I had to buy a size 10 dress and it SCARED ME INTO DOING RIGHT!!!! LOL

Ugghhhhh….swear, it is like I think that the more that I assumed that all is well, the lazier that it made me…..

Before, I had a method of going to the gym 4 days a week and it was not a fight at all…now – making myself try to turn into a GYM RAT has me a tad bit nervous.

Why is it that women are SO MUCH MORE VOCAL about their weight and appearance than men? Trust me, I do know a great deal of men who primp and press MORE than me and sadly to say BETTER than me –

However, unless they are into same-sex relationships….. men do not make a big fuss about it like us…

I guess that this the calm before the storm…before I get my butt back into the gym…… I will be going in another hour and try to get my spunk and regime back together….

This photo is from 2 weeks ago & I desperately need to shed 25 pounds… you dont see what I know is there! LOL

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please pray my strength…..I  am so serious I feel soo UN-MOTIVATED right now… Oka, chat in the morning!

Dear ( ME )

30 Seconds of Gratification-


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I am grateful that I am always able to pray even without moving my lips! It is indeed because you live within me……It is important for us to be able to speak with God with nonverbal communication as well – finding / discovering new ways to communicate with Christ  because it is priceless!

Some things, you will not understand until you try it and then some things you will not understand until it is no longer an available option for you to have!

Dear ( ME )

Movies and MY……emotions……


Geeeesh!!! It amazes me how I can think that im alright in certain areas until I go see movies at the theatre!

I reallllllllly ENJOY going to see a movie once a week ALONE……

The pure enchantment brings me much joy and it allows me to think, meditate, laugh, giggle, smirk, smile, frown and cry….

I first realized that being at the movie theatre alone was 1 of the few places that allows things that are dead….hidden…suffocated….sleep…. etc to come alive or at least awaken!

I first had this eye balling……tissue box craving experience when I went to see the movie called Eat Pray Love….

Man oh man!!!! Talk about in your face and feeling like actress Julia Roberts saying, Val…are SOME of these feelings familiar!!

Also, a movie with actor Robert Deniro and the movie was called Everythings Alright…..Well I think that was the name…whew….i sat there feeling simply depressed as I shooked my head in agreement and sadness because of the similarities within my own family and of course myself….

Then the last two movies that I saw were New Years Eve …no one would believe the charachter I MOST connected to! It was like a mirror but just recently at the movie theatre….i began to ask myself am I really miserable???? Geeeeesh, im soo serious folks because I did not feel to nice on the inside! Then God had me ask Him…..and he advised me that im NOT miserable…

Its just I have been through sooo sooooo much within the past 10 years that SOME of my emotions are just slowly catching up to me and certain types of movies seem to bring things to the surface that I havent dealt with or didnt FINISH dealing with!! Geeeesh, God is amazing right and HIS revelation is mind blowing!!!

The other movie is called, We Bought A Zoo with cutie Matt Damon and Scarlett Johansen……listen!

The previews on tv didnt do that movie justice at all!! That movie had me crying and re evaluating things too!! Lol….. I tell ya, I am glad to be oprn so God can show me whats good BUT also whats sour in MY life!!!

Okay im done……..

P.S. Blogging and Writing is great therapy….people who dont do it should surely try it!

I feel like a brand new person like I went to church, and went up to the Altar and obtained Jesus Christ into my lifr / heart for the very FIRST time!….. I feel amazing!