Parenting

Mothers and Sons


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As much as my kid works my nerves… I do love hanging out with him…. Just going out to hang out with friends is soo relaxing mentally.. It’s been just me and him for so long that as a single parent..I need space a few times a week.
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However, it is rightfully so (in my son’s mind of course) that if we aren’t together…he needs to know my very whereabouts! ! I used to tell him ALL 10 things…  BUT know I had to literally scale it back / down to like 4 things.. . .  I set up an atmosphere that he felt as if it was his RIGHT TO KNOW my every single whereabouts!!! Lol
WhileI’m out doing MY own thing and just breathing my own air without my kid trying calculate how much I breathed WITHOUT HIM…..
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When I pick him up to head home….I actually have the nerve to miss him as well…LOL – He indeed is a special kid…

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Parenting

Letting Go Daily –


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I am learning that as my son is getting OLDER …… I have to let him go day by day via treating him like he will NEVER leave the house!  Only a few more years left and I will be saying >>> SEE YA LATER BUDDY BOY!! ( hiding my tears )

The toughest thing about being a parent (or a teacher) is learning when NOT to be one. You don’t have to take my word for it, just ask Marlon. (The mivie Finding Nemo ) His wife was brutally attacked and killed by a man-eating barracuda, thrusting him into the role of a “single dad.” Now we know that in AMERICA there are more single mothers than single fathers. Not discounting single dads at all but ……….. ( LOL )

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Although only an animation film, “Finding Nemo” portrays the real life struggles many parents face in “letting go of their children.” I have to say that I have been doing great though….. He has been finding new things to do with his life and his SELF lately…just look at this CRAZY hair cut that HE WANTED!! Inside I was screaming like, baby this isn’t you, is it?

As in real life, most parents (and children) don’t see the potential dangers of a parent being overprotective. And it’s easy to understand why many parents would respond the way Marlon did. Growing up in an inner city ghetto myself, there were many barracudas waiting to devour me.

Like most children, Nemo became very upset with his “loving” father’s obsession with protecting him from unforeseen danger. During one heated exchanged, Nemo uttered the phrase that strikes fear in the heart of every parent, “I hate you.” As a result of his father’s controlling behavior, Nemo intentionally rebels against his father and is consequently “fish-napped” by a diver.
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I am letting my son go DAILY…… Keep him grounded in Godly principles and heavily involved and push him even at times when I know that pushing him / teaching him to do MORE will allow him to depend on me LESS. That is a good thing but the love of a mother is something ferocious!  My son calls me MOMMA BEAR because when someone bothers him – a whole NEW PERSON “comes over me”….. LOL I get into a mode that I will crush anything in my when it comes to protecting my son…. ( in a diplomatic and lady like way of course – lol )
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I am proud of myself…for “choosing” to start MY PROCESS of letting go daily while he is young. As a parent, you cannot start trying to cope that your child is going to be moving out of the house when they are GRADUATING HIGH SCHOOL! You do know that is WAY too late right? LOL

Parenting

Dear J.C.C.C.


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I love you ….. You are beautiful on the inside that you have NO CHOICE but to shine and be even more beautiful on the outside….. I am indeed so very proud of you and to call you my son….

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We have been through so many things together, it is a blessing that we still laugh, giggle, crack jokes and even smile as much as we do. God has used you and showed you how to be strong at a very early age and gratefully you have accepted Jesus Christ into your life.
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Thank you for showing me how to extend grace to those who do not deserve it while reminding me DAILY …” WHAT WOULD JESUS DO”….
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I am so glad God chose ME to be your mommy! Of course, there is no way that I could not ask for a better son and friend!
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God bless you and know that I will always be here for you!

Family

A Few Important Folks –


Things have UNFORTUNATELY changed over the years in my family but my God!! YES!  I still believe in Family and the power of PRAYER! God always has a way of bringing things together for “His Glory…..

Mothers ALWAYS seem to be the one to hold things together for the sake of FAMILY…. I am grateful that “most mothers” stretch theirselves for the sake of others…. My mother’s face is in the Webster’s Dictionary!! LOL

I REALLY wish that I did not have to “mini – battle” so much via my almost 19 year old son above and his current environment – GEESH! Nonetheless, we do a great deal of “choosing” ourselves, so……..

Talk about tug of war, my goodness. Nonetheless, I love him so dearly and my mother is standing there like she is a proud mommy! LOL She loves all of her grandkids – the ones that act “nice” and especially the ones that does not act “so nice”….

My daughter when she “was little” was such a joy and was innocent …respectful…ambitious…obedient and LOVED to learn about God… my father basically raised my oldest kids from birth til they were almost 13 years old. He taught them to read, write, math, tie their shoes, politics, history and a slew of other things……

My…my…my…my…How quickly things change! I am still trusting and believing that God will work things out for my whole family!  Nonetheless for my now teenage daughter – Boy! Am I really EXPECTING a mighty miracle!  With God EVERYTHING and ANYTHING is truly possible and anything can happen!

Welp… my angelic sister and son are two peas in a pod! She is the BEST sister that anyone could ever ask for. Talk about heart for God that shines through everything that she does and say! YIKES – sometimes her prescence makes me repent! LOL She is a great lady though and I am honored to call her my friend!

My amazing – very compassionate – funny – sweet but still “good” crazy cousin who has been a major blessing to us all. He is one very special person and I think that it is crazy how he looks like my late father too!

I enjoy being this little boy’s mother so much that it TICKLES ME! I blog about me and him enough but family is such an important part of “my make up” …… I have been the mediator for YEARS via my immediate family as well as my cousins..aunties..uncles…etc. It has worn me out to be honest…but I still love and respect the “art of family”..

Parenting

Dear Son, Love Mom


The strength of a man isn’t seen in the width of his shoulders.
It’s seen in the width of his arms that encircle and protect you.

The strength of a man isn’t in the deep tone of his voice.
It is in the gentle words he whispers.

The strength of a man isn’t in the words he speaks.
It’s in how he keeps his word.

The strength of a man isn’t how many buddies he has.
It’s how good a buddy he is with his or “your” children.

The strength of a man isn’t in how respected he is at work.
It’s in how he is respected at home.

The strength of a man isn’t in how hard he hits.
It’s in how tender he touches.

The strength of a man isn’t in the hair on his chest.
It’s in the heart . . . that lies within his chest.

The strength of a man isn’t in how many women he’s loved.
It’s in whether he can be true to the ONE woman he’s trying to love.

The strength of a man isn’t in the weight he can lift.
It’s in the burdens he can carry.

The strength of a man isn’t in how much food he eats from your table.
It’s in the effort he puts forth when you are unable.

The strength of a man isn’t in how he makes love.
It’s in the understanding that there is more to making love
. . . than making love.

A strong man puts God first,
. . . family second
. . . and his work third.

Parenting

movie night


Movie night is something that I created for me and my son to do on a weekly basis. Between school, work, church, soccer practice, baseball practice, band practice, martial arts practice and ripping and running for my mom……………….. I want us AND need us to have a moment to breath AND laugh together outside of the house and movie night is ONE of the things that we do.

We saw Arthur Christmas and it was sooo hilarious! I always wondered how people would video tape or bootl leg a movie and sell it. I have a smart phone and I sat there and video recorded about 52 minutes of the movie and when I got home…I viewed it and screamed out laughing! It actually taped very well, the sound was crisp and I said to myself…this was indeed one of the silliest ….funniest and craziest things that I have done in a long time..

It was fun though! and NO!!! I didnt delete the movie…I have watched it twice since then! Forgive me Lord!!!

Parenting

is getting a break fair?


Yup, here I am again JUST GETTING HOME because as usual, I am” running to and fro “ from one of my son’s activity’s after school and the evening’s sometime just become sooooooooooooo LONG! It was also my sister’s birthday so what was I going to do, not see her at all today? Well via the blog title…… ” is getting a break fair ” is from the aspect of being a mother….. Granted regardless if you are married or single…you are STILL a mother full time ( the good ones at least ) and I get that but being a single mother is a whole different ball game… It is a game that I personally want to sit out for at least 2 weeks because I am sooo tired..

God knows I love being a mother to my 9 year old because he indeed is an amazing kid, if I have to say so myself! I feel that under the circumstances of his father not being around, his uncles not being around and his brother and sister who are 18 not being around… God has surely showed me how to mold him into the Little Young Christian Prince, he is today………

HOWEVER!!!!!! >>>>>> oh my gosh!! I am wore out.. I think that this is just how I am feeling “presently” because although I have had days where I felt tired but they kind of always found their way to “pass 0ver”………. but what I have been feeling for the last 3 days is something I can tell is a tad bit different….. im just really tired and it took basically almost 10 years for me ” to really feel the pressure ” of it all im assuming.. He will be 10 years in May 2012 so yeah, he is basically 9 1/2 and I have been ” a trooper ” the whole way through but….. Lord.. Help me…… I am surley sending out my personal S.O.S. to you!

I tried to sign him up for big brothers and big sisters and that was too stressful to even to deal with. Their new policy about entering your child into their program consists of BOTH parents consenting that it is alright via legal paperwork…. This was due to a few incidents they stated of when a father would see his child out with another male but it was the Big Brother Mentor….the father did not know that and the father would attack the mentor etc. I understand that but I tried to tell the worker that in my situation that would NOT be the case and she said that may be true but she cannot make special changes for anyone…

So im like you want me to get consent from my son’s ABSENT father to say that it is okay for our son to participate in your program for kids who have parents that LACK involvement in their lives and that is the SOLE reason why your organization even exists? She laughed and said wow, putting it like that, it does not make sense but that is our new policy and your son’s father will have to sign legal forms saying that it is ok for your son to be around one of our male mentors! I said thank you for your explanation and time but no thank you to your program….

She asked me what was I going to do?….I said do what I have been doing….pray and ask the Lord to continue to lead and guide me on what to place my son in and who to have him around like I have been doing since he was born. He is in enough weekly activities to keep 3 kids busy so we will be fine…My mother was totally against it because she said it decreased my son’s chances of getting molested and with the Penn State Sex Scandal sadness I AM GLAD that the Big Brother / Big Sister legal red tape happened because it indeed transpired for a reason….

This post is NOT  a bashing post of my son’s father being absent from his life….. its almost 10 years so I am use to it I am talking about me as a mother thinking that the exhaustion of trying to be a good mother is just catching up to me with all of running around etc..etc..etc.. Any absentee parent is just missing out that is all….there is never a need to bash… for what? The proof is in the child that I am raising… my 9 1/2 year old is smart….wise..mature…and growing into a KINGDOM young man day by day so I have no regrets! I just pray to always remain the Godly Mother so that I can raise him adequately….