Parenting

No Black Eyes Today!


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Umm…we are smiling but trust me – ask us if we are super sleepy….. Our sons are both in 9 MILLION activities….

She is soo amazing and I love that I have friends with various backgrounds / cultures / nationalities etc.. It makes me better and broadens my horizons with my son too. My son being exposed to things that are “un -American” is a plus…. Everyday, I am finding ways for us BOTH to live outside of the box as well as INVENT our own boxes!
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I smile because of him….Even when im having a bad day, He makes me smile and i am soo proud to call him my son! My (love muffin) oops… I meant to say that MY son had two basketball games today – I guess they are called double headers…oh no wait – that is in BASEBALL right?

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LOL Well anyway, he did soooooooooooooooo well it was SICK! He made a few 3 pointers, looked over at me then got a tad bit cocky!

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You saw his photo that I uploaded yesterday looking like he had been punched in the face….. well each time that he made a lay up, scored a few points and started running……I realized that The only thing that I said to him was great job baby and watch your face! LOL
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Parenting

Always A Sacrifice –


Another COLD night out with my little man with his baseball games… I have been fighting the cold weather via my son’s activities since he was 5 years old and I thought that since he is NOW 10 that things would be a piece a cake or at least a skinny little piece of pie! Nope – cold is cold and frigid weather is still and will always be frigid weather!!!.. LOL

Whew and I thought that going to Boy Scouts 2 times a week staying out for 3 hour evenings was torture – but GEESH – all of these amazing activities that I seem to have to place him in by desire and  due to the lack of Christian Male GENUINE role models that has the DNA of consistency – I almost HAVE TO DO IT and keep him busy as a bee as well as busy as a beaver….that keeps chucking away at activities!

I was tired….frustrate with personal things but through it all… at least during “his moment” I could not allow him to see me sweat….. but I tell you raising kids alone is hard but Mothers raising sons….whew Jesus – very semi difficult because to me the whole process is a tad bit sensitive! Daughters and Fathers / Sons and Fathers were matches made in Heaven evidently and it shows up in relationships. It does not matter how amazing mothers are – fathers are always missed in a child’s life when they are absent…. It is how God made it – It is how God intended it …so shall it be so!

At least his team won tonight in the 45 degree weather right? At least we get to come home by 9 pm right? At least we live close to the baseball field right? At least his homework is already complete right? At least I get off work early all week right? At least I did my running around and can come straight home for the next few days right?

With even all of those positives that I stated….it still does not make MY LIFE less busy –

Parenting

From 4th Grade to High School!


Umm… as a parent to an almost 10 year old little boy – usually parents WANT their kids to stay young or at least desire to watch their kids “grow gracefully” right? Welp, that used to be ME! My son had his little mini field trip today to his new school since he is entering into 5th grade for the upcoming school year and he just seem so much OLDER and a tad bit wiser for his age. Nonetheless, “at this very moment” I wish that he was getting ready to enter into high school. YIKES… I never thought that I would say that phrase “before it was time” seriously…

Do not get me wrong…. my son is NOT a bad kid – although “lately” I have indeed wanted to choke him and hold him down too many times due to his irritating behavior and moods. Yes he is a boy and going through things and I am almost even scared to think that he is dealing with early puberty stuff….. UGGGHHH that would so not be fun! LOL But hey, even though that talking session about how his body is changing should be a Father and Son conversation – we are so close that I am sure that it would not even freak / scare my kid out.

Point of this current R – A- N – T is to say that as a single mom I want him to get to the 9th grade so that I can stop being Super Mom and running and flying between soccer – baseball – band practice – no more taekwondo classes – taking a break via basketball and just sit down for a minute.

You see the photo ABOVE! That is how busy and CRAZY me and my son’s life be ” MOST DAYS”…… LOL He is on his way to music practice carrying his tenor saxophone in his baseball uniform because he is coming from baseball game!

I figure if he is older then I do not have to be Wonder Mom! A great deal of thins that he is participating in can be done maybe STRICTLY at school and if not – I can just have my baby in 1 outside activity!

Overall, I dont mind but seriously all of the activities that I mentioned are the things that my son does OUTSIDE of church

My son then is very active within his own church! LOL – The children’s ministry at this church is SUPER  SUPER  “duper” A-M-A-Z-I-N-G!  My son participates in 3 weekly activities strictly for boys. Yes it may seem like a great deal but him being a boy and being taught by Godly Mentors are indeed PRICELESSS!

So that is also why I run myself ragged…………but oh Jesus I am so tired because at this point I just may hire a part time Babysitter / Nanny / Driver to assist me! I am so indeed serious! So I give a big HUGE shout out and big applause to all of the Single PRODUCTIVE Parents as well as the Mothers who are married but still feel like they “are single” when it comes to taking care of the kids!

Did I mention that there is a baseball game tomorrow, a soccer game and basketball on Saturday and a 3 hour baseball tournament on Sunday evening?

Parenting

new activity WENT SOUR


MAN OH MAN!!!! I was so excited when my son wanted to try something different this season…… WRESTLING! I thought that it would be a great experience for him as well as would really help get his weight down! Lo and behold, I forgot to take into account what type of “coaching style” I may run into… I was schocked, sad and disgusted with the coaching staff as well as the coaching style that was represented even on his first day!

I am thinking that it MUST be a black culture thing that SCREAMING at the kids and calling them NAME is a mentality where the coaches feel that will toughen them up for what is about to be next! Wow… is all that I could say when my son started wrestling last week on Monday..

I wanted to cry AFTER I witnessed this sad display of coaching……..I honestly wanted to fight the head coach before I left… It was just plain HORRID on how he talked to ALL of the kids…and the ages had ranged from like 5 to 16 years old before they were all broken into groups via age and weight class….

At first when I sat in the car just observing the parents…. kids….and coaching staff interaction… I MUST ADMIT that I said to myself.. hmmm.. baby I am not sure if I am going to like the structure of this organization, I can tell already! It did not matter to me how known this organization was known for wrestling and winning matches and even turning a beginning into a winner in a few months…

Yeah that may be the case and have some validity to it… but as a mother…. im seriously thinking.. ” at what costs ” are you trying to prune my son and other people’s kids into wrestlers? Are you even trying to get to know the kids to see if this is indeed something that they dont want to do…

Are you mature enough as a coach to talk to the parents and be honest with them and say.. Mom / Dad… I commend you for wanting to place your son in this particular sport…but maybe I dont think that this WRESTLING is for him… give your reasons why and let the parents make that choice etc….Geesh! Where is the koof these days??

However, what I had witnessed even with the first night…..that was indeed NOT THE MODE that these coaches were into…well let me not say ALL but there were about 6 coaches there and there were 2 that were sooo serious even on the first day…it was very VERY very alarming. Then the Wrestling head coach himself was about 5 feet 4 inches and seemed like he always had something to prove everytime he opened up his mouth….. He is the little man with the blue shirt and dreds….. yes that is him! ( refer to the photo below AFTER the next 2 paragraphs below )

He screamed at the kids…. called them names… told them they could go home if they did not like him… stated that if he saw their parents were not around and if they did a wrestling move incorrectly, that he would hit them in the head…. I blurted out not my son you wont…. I didnt care how I looked but that is another reason I feel why so many black male athletes are too aggressive… (especially in Football)

this type of behavior is accepted by these coaches in these black neighborhoods and some of the coaches never had any type of leadership position thus far in their lifetime ..so they indeed OVERLY react in a position of a coach….. ( especially football )

there were no pep talks… I talked to 2 of the other coaches expressing my concern on the lack of stretching that DID NOT TAKE PLACE before the coach started showing the kids all of these  wrestling moves, stances and positions. So by now you can obviously tell that I surely was not pleased and ONLY signed my son up predicated on his OWN personal interest in wrestling and him asking me to find an organization so that he could play and see if he would like it etc… I ONLY signed him up for this organization bases off of their REPUTATION…. However, you see that “now days” a reputation does not hold too much weight any more… look at Penn State UniversityJoe Paterno was coach for 46 years and his legacy is left with him being FIRED!!!

Back to this rude and unbalanced Coach…..He called the kids names…. smacked one little boy in the head two times and when I thought I heard him call my son a name because he is a little overweight, I had to CALM MYSELF and have one of those “” WOO – SIGH MOMENTS “” because I wanted to make sure that I had heard what I did and not be assuming I heard something because I was soo judgemental ( and obviosuly rightfully so ) in the beginnig….

Lo and behold he indeed call my son a name pertaining to his weight and I spoke to one of the coaches about it and since there was only about 10 more minutes left in the FIRST and only practice that my son would be participating in with this organization …I waited until it was over to talk to my son and the manager of the organization.

Long story short… I asked my son how he felt when we got in the car ( WITH MY MIND ALREADY MADE UP THAT WE WERE NOT GOING BACK )….he said that he still wants to do wrestling but NOT with that man being the coach… I WAS INDEED happy and soooo very proud of my son realizing that the behavior that he saw was NOT normal at all….. My son plays baseball…. and there is no screaming and name calling… My son plays soccer…. and there is no disrespectful marks being said and no fear being put into him if he doesnt score a goal… My son plays the saxophone and the teacher does not make him sit out of a performance because he missed a practice… My son does Tae kwon do and the Grand Master does not scold him for not blocking the right way…. Parents dont speak up apparently…because alot of them complained over in the corner but I heard them say that he has been the coach for about 4 or 5 years and he is good at what he does! UMM >>News Flash.. he is good at the mechanics but NOT at the coaching.. meaning he is a horrid teacher…..

It is like a paralegal… they are more geared to study and dig for tons of research to help the lawyer to win his or her case…. The paralegal does the research…the mechanics …the dynamics of the job BUT the lawyer “presents the evidence” that the paralegal found…  It takes a certain type of individual to work with kids…gain their respect..their ear etc.. BUT to gain those same things with parents… is something totally different… and I SAY SHAME TO THE PARENTS who complained about the verbal and semi physical abuse but year after year they continued to bring their OWN CHILD BACK TO THE CHAOS!

They all TALK to him and explain to him what could be done better and still congratulates him on the things that he is already doing right! Sad to say but they are all white coaches and the activities that he participates in are all located in white neighborhoods and we indeed live in an 85% white neighborhood. I AM NOT SAYING that ” white is right “….but my golly, they surely have some “perspectives that a great deal of blacks dont have ” which can help mold your child… uplift your family… etc…

I am venting of course.. but it is NOT ABOUT COLOR but it is about how a person is raised…what they are exposed to…what morals..values ..ethics and beliefs are PLANTED….  However, my black brothers and sisters STILL must get it together in more areas than I would like to admit… but TRUTH IS STILL TRUTH…regardless how it is presented.. Lord thank you for showing me how to raise MY SON!