Happy Blessed Day!

Happy birthday to my big sister!!! She means SOOOOO MUCH to me and has always been there for me when I did not feel like BEING BOTHERED with myself if that even makes even sense!! LOL I have spoiled her REAL GOOD!! She is going to really enjoy the WHOLE rest of the month of November 2012…… I have had sooo many wonderful things planned for her and God knows that it is MY PLEASURE

She is just SIMPLY amazing…..and deserves ALL the happiness that her sweet BIG HEART can surely hold! Last year was great for her too because I celebrated her birthday until New Years!

Dear ( ME )


Wondering why women do so much and NEVER know when or how to take a break??? I mean the lady above is so NOT the type of woman that I have EVER desired to be…… I am not and will never be a feminist and that whole era changed the game for women who did not even want to be included in the VERY STRANGE  – “but interesting” ERA!  ( feminist movement )

It felt weird not blogging in about a week…but i had sooooooo much to say that it was bwtter left unsaid as well as untyped!

I felt like as if I mentally…and emotionally flatlined for a few days… like SERIOUSLY shut down…

Just feeling too strong… feeling too heavy…..feeling so overwhelmed…..

Doing too much….doing more than my fair share…..

Just plumb old tired….  I have indeed started my process of “turning things back around”…….

However…. the reality is that women NEED to seriously realize that they are not meant to be and do the work of 10 men regardless if they are able to or not…

Things like that is what have women doing too much…..  people expecting too much and making us FORGET OUR ROLES as women.

Take a break ladies….. re – vamp… and relax! It is a need….a must…. and guess what ………….IT WORKS!

Dear ( ME )

The Crying Game

Over The Years……..

I cried over my kids not behaving

I cried over my family not getting along

I cried over my siblings not being there for my mom as a whole

I cried over my youngest son’s father choosing to be in his life when he wanted to

I cried over my youngest son having a lot of down days because he missed his father

I cried over my youngest son saying that he hated his father

I cried over my daughter being and remaining out of control

I cried over my dreams not coming to past as of yet

I cried over my goals having to shift temporarily again

I cried over my unsuccessful attempt to find a church that was NOT full of women to call HOME

I cried over my knowledge of some negativity that has been transpiring in some churches

I cried over my relationships with friends because they were NOT what I thought they were –

I cried over my own relationship with God thinking that I was carrying anger

I cried over my epiphany that I NEVER mourned my father who died 5 years ago

New Year Day-

I smile because via my kids- I have planted the seed of Christ and have remained open to them

I smile because via my family – I learned family is not perfect and people choose to be bothered

I smile because via my mother – I show her love & I can’t make siblings spend time with her

I smile because via my son’s father – I see that God has been there from day 1 and we are fine

I smile because via my dreams & goals – They won’t die but they have a timing to be evolved

I smile because via my relationships – I have learned a lot and became very wise

I smile because via church – I am waiting and visiting patiently knowing God will handle it

I smile because via my father – I finally have mourned him, been healed and moved on



moving on

This is something that I have been processing over the last few years……… We can love people that have entered our lives… but that does not mean that they will or are intended to stay…. Relationships of ALL kinds come throught of Heart / Life canal but we must learn to re – evaluate just adjust to ” WHAT IS BEST FOR US”……….

Even family has to come under subjection to what is best for our lives…… it is indeed very imperative that we pray for them when their actions are contrary to how they should be… Nonetheless, if we are instructed to pray for even our enemies… and people that we dont know… we surely should and must pray for the family that God has ” BIRTHED US INTO”…….

Sad thing is that we do have to let go.. and LET GOD.. things like that NOW A DAYS have become such cliche’s and it can have the tendency to almost water down what people think of Christ and His ultimate power…. When people show you how they feel about you and the situation (s) at hand… believe them at least by the SECOND TIME….

I say the 2nd time because we all have bad days…weeks…. moments etc.. and we could just be going through something… HOWEVER, repeatedly negative behavior towards you in something that you should not take and certainly dont deserve if the other party at hand is not mature enough to express to you how they feel about you and or the situation…. If you have already attempted to do so and the behavior continues… you need to either look in a mirror and give your own self a pep talk with the question in mind >>>>> Why am I still putting up with this from a person who is NOT adding happiness to my life?

Train people how to treat you by SPEAKING up….. do it because you know your worth and you desire not to place your time, heart and emotions on sale!

Dear ( ME )


This weekend has been soo inspiring for me! I am so grateful to be able to just begin again!…….. Everything about the new year that I AM EXPECTING and have been preparing for seems really so fresh, from the air to the wind blowing a different way. Amazing how if you will change, the things, the situations and the people will as well.

Im just soooo sooooo in love with love and just everything that (IT) #represents…..

loving life, my role in motherhood, my mind set, my OWN mommy, my sister, my daddys memories, my relationship with God….etc….etc…etc…

Ahhhhhhhh…….live, life, live is the name of the game! Play, because its worth it!! And a Blessing…..

Okay… on way to have a grrrrrrreat day……

Dear ( ME )

happy new year / life saved

It is NOT officially New Year’s Day as of yet but if you are reading this than it is YOUR New Year! Why wait til ” a specific day ” to change? It doesnt make sense! Working on ourselves should be a daily / weekly task! I started re – evaluating myself for change in August of this year and I havent looked back nor stopped “fixing myself up” since then!

I have always heard that change is hard and no one likes to do it… well change is only hard when it is done on a temporary and spiratical basis. When we look into the mirrors everyday, there are a few things that we know need to be changed / fixed / altered etc. Look at it this way >>>>>> if you take the time to work on yourselves on a weekly basis, by the time New Year’s come around, you wont have much to work and chip away at!

Plus dont follow the crowd >>> re – dedicate yourself to change when no one is looking and you will know then if you have changed….but more importantly, if you are or have changed for the right reason and NOT people.

MOTIVE IS >>> The Key……..

Alot of people will NOT be blessed to wake up for New Year’s Eve, let alone New Year’s Day, so I want to say may the peace of God wrap itself around you that if you are here to see 2012, that you will indeed make it up in your mind to do better….live better…and allow God to abide in you.

I am just grateful for all of the little things…..  Today I was being in a hurry and drove right through a car chase which ended up being a mini shoot out… so I am indeed grateful for LIFE.. just thinking that my 9 year old son would not have had a mother ….SCARED ME TO DEATH….. I called my mother and my sister and was just in mere utter shock… That QUICK, I could have been dead or badly hurt….. I am praising God that I was NOT one of the victims in the crazy fiasco that transpired while I was on my way home………….

Below: here are a few photos that I managed to take while  I was sitting in the middle of the street, then on the side of the street, then in the middle of someone else’s driveway…………..

( better yet.. I WILL POST THEM TOMORROW.. I am really emotionally overwhelmed right now)

Happy Friday.. im back and here are the photos from yesterday’s crazy fiasco……….