Parenting

Bday and Valentines LOVE


I could NOT have been blessed with a more amazing Valentine’s Day….. Yes, I hung out with friends, girl pals and even some family.. but this SPECIAL PERSON had really placed a smile on my face….
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My son is indeed the APPLE of my eye!! Mom, women aren’t supposed to pump gas and other things if a MAN is around! I am thanking God for allowing me to have 2 parents that showed me the things of life…. because I surely passed them down. My daddy, RIP ( Norris Coleman) especially showed me what men are to do AND not to do –

Son: Mom tell me what you want from me and I will buy it or do it

Me: Aww baby, you are already doing it – being a good Christian boy and I thank God 4 you

Son: Thanks mom but for real, I want to take care of you

Me: GIGGLE… Jared my love – you have been ever since you were in my stomach!!

Son: Well Here Mom, here is a start……
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Me: I’m crying because he spent his piggy bank money on me to show me he loves his mommy!

Dear Lord, thank you for true Godly inheritance….

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Dear ( ME )

Happy Monday People


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Glad that I woke up to see yet another day! God is soo good, I was up and have been in a fantastic mood and did not know why I was EXTREMELY gitty this morning!
 
I was on a roll with my happy self then my alarm went off on my phone!!
 
It was a reminder that TODAY February 18, 2013 marked the 5 year anniv. of my wonderful father’s passing.
 
For the first 20 seconds I MUST ADMIT that it stopped my happy moment momentum………… However, I did pull it together!!!
 
I am well and although it is his 5 year anniv. I AM STILL HAPPY as I was this morning……
 
Just like the enenmy to try and quench your happiness out of the blue – but it did NOT work!!!……. Im free from the bondage of being depressed of my father’s passing…and it feels soooooo soooo great!!!
 
 
Let your dreams be bigger than your fears and your actions louder than your words. God is able to do exceedingly abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that works in us. Ephesians 3:20
 
Parenting

Hey Pops!


Hey Pops! Yesterday was a little hard but today SUPER DUPER surprising – I was actually alright hearing and seeing all The Father’s Day stuff and you are not here with me! It has been 5 years since you have been gone from this earth ……but it most days only feels like it has realy only been about 2 but …hey 5 is for grace right!

Mommy misses you of course…..Jared said yesterday that when you died the family fell apart!!! OH HOW HE IS RIGHT – GEESH! The twins unfortunately are the same- ….

Sorry dad, I tried all these years ( I MEAN REALLY ) and finally pulled back like a few months ago. You told me to years ago but I could not regardless of the things they did or did not do because they were still babies – my babies ya know?  They will be 19 in a few weeks so -PEACE! ( in so many words )

The other siblings situation is stil the same as well – you would be disappointed but you were ALWAYS optimistic! Whew, boy is it hard being the peacemaker ALL the time and for so many years – boy am I exhausted seriously…

Dad today I show my appreciation for you in my life, but I hope that this isn’t the only day you see my appreciation, because everyday I look in the Mirror I see a piece of you. Love Ya…. and see you when I get to HEAVEN

Pops, I salute YOU on this day ( actually everyday ) but I am blessed because I am your daughter!…..you would be so proud of me!

Parenting

Wooo Sighing at 6:30 am!


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Like really…. Like for real…. Like again JARED!!

Okay im sure that i am like number 12,234,767 via moms who want to strangle their kids for acting up and acting out at school!

 

ACTING UP – deliberating doing things, knit picking etc.

ACTING OUT – doing things because they do not know how to express how they are feeling inside etc.

umm.. at this point I need a psychological term for a kid WHO DOES BOTH!! I mean 630 am I am chatting with his teacher at school when I dropped him off then I think that I flipped out for like AN AMAZINGLY GOOD – SO NEEDED – SO WORTH IT 90 seconds!!!!

It felt good but then to chastize your kid for things that he already knows NOT TO DO…. ummm can be just a tad bit annoying…irritating and i was sooo over it!!

Then the more I kept telling him to practice sharing his feelings and it is okay for boys/ men to express themselves I DONT CARE WHAT YOU MAY HAVE HEARD but it is healthy!

After him crying, the teaching showing her frustration, me twirling my hair to keep my hands from choking my son and me saying the word prayer about 15 times…..

By the end of the little 630 to 650 meeting – Jared was HAPPY – the teacher was glad that we had ANOTHER talk – and I felt that we made some progress.

( LORD PLEASE HELP )

Okay Jared’s issues are – misses his 18 1/2 yr old siblings – does not have arelationship with the man who’s name is on his birth certifate and who the Webster’s Dictionary would call father – and his misses his grandfather – the one who he considered as his father.

So it is ALL centered around RELATIONSHIPS!  UGGGHH – this too shall pass! We have been down this road before and God AS USUAL will help Jared once again!

Okay – woo -sighing for ” TODAY” is officially done!

Thanking GOD for direction, love and progress!

#TEAMJARED

Dear ( ME )

My Last Big Whitney Moment


Of course the media is still showing massive coverage from Whitney Houston‘s Life, Death and Homegoing service, and they will for a few more months.

However, as I was watching the Today Show this morning, the Lord advised me that was enough for now. Funny thing is that I understood and shut the television off. His point was this, I understand that you and many others are shocked that she was taken so abruptly but she is no longer here.

He reminded me of some things of my past and stated that when he showed me MUCH >>> Grace and Mercy by the things that I did do as well as the things that I didnt do via disobedience…. I was not that emotionally bothered the way that I was via Whitney Houston’s passing.

He reminded me of how I stayed glued to the television, all the media outlets and newspapers trying to KEEP UP on what, when, who, and how things transpired with Whitney.

News Flash….when I disobeyed / disobey God……I dont always run to my bible, grab any and every theology manual, call on the Saints and cry unto God… So why in the WORLD am I placing more emphasis on the passing of someone that I hardly knew v.s. the LIFE of myself who still have a chance to get my own act together? I grew up on her music and still have MOST of her music but the consumption has become into an overload status….

It is called being nebby and trying to keep up with the latest in Hollywood to be frank. Yes, I am NO WAY…SHAPE OR FORM trying to be insensitive to her passing ….. I was and still consider myself a supporter of who she was as a person and as an entertainer….

BUT …..reality is that it is okay to mourn but it is no different when the first love of my life… my father, the late Norris Coleman was dying with two types of cancer and then was transported to hospice. I knew what this next phase meant and knowing that my daddy smoked since he was like 9 or 10 years old! Yes my father told me that he started sneaking his father’s cigars when he was that young, liked it and NEVER STOPPED.

Whitney like many other people tried something, liked it and NEVER STOPPED, regardless if it was 10 %…25 %…50%…75%…or 99%… they all never 100% TOTALLY STOP. Even when my father found out that he had lung cancer, of course he was devastated and I along with my family was sad BUT my father STILL CONTINUED to smoke his cigars! Boy did they use to smell good, because he bought expensive tobacco but the smell wasnt worth seeing him lose life! So just as other people are hooked onto different things, they know that it can bring damage to their bodies but do they ever fully stop?

When my father was at the point that he was so weak that he needed to lay down all the time, YES!! He finally stopped “lighting the cigar” but he still desired and maintained an ” unlit cigar” in his mouth until the time we transported him to hospice……    

So case in point, I will continue to listen to her music when ” im in the mood for it” but I will not consume my time with watching, reading and listening to all of the different parts of the media of what is going on with her estate, her daughter, her mother, her cousins, her Godmother, her brothers, her sisters, her nephews, her neices, her pastor, her church etc.

Everything that I named above is the time that I need to focus on in my own family because The Coleman’s surely have a great deal of work and healing to get through themselves. I want to continue to remember Whitney as the lovely flower that she was……

God is a jealous God and we are not to place nothing or no one above Him and anything that I give more “light to” than Him……well there you go!

God should NEVER have to compete with the materialistic and other worldly things that WE CHOOSE to participate in…

Okay im done…

Relationships

Happy Bday to ME!!


ahhhhh!! starting my birthday Sunday off with seeing the love of my life was AWESOME! MY mommy pooh! LOL

Okay just the mere fact that she is alive to see me on this day was MORE THAN ENOUGH for me… so happy bday Val okay AMEN.

We hung for a few hours and after that I really did not have the need or urge to fellowship with anyone else because my mom is my birthday cake, my birthday gifts, my birthday candle, my birthday prayer etc..etc..etc… She is just such a definition of a woman in all aspects that I am blessed to have just been raised and reared by such a great specimen of a woman!

I plan on celebrating everyday this week and actually for this whole month due to this being the FIRST TIME in 5 years that I have really celebrated my birthday since my father’s passing. This Feb. 18th will be five years since he passed away and I AM FINALLY free and moving on with no depression around this time of the year and I am glad to say that I am not bound anymore!

Daddy see you soon but know me and momma are still going strong as well! PEACE!

 

 

Dear ( ME )

#Feb18th


Over the hill and through the woods to a better life I know!  Having focus is something that takes committment, time and effort. Welp, the 18th of Feb is STILL a mile marker for me in my life…. MY DADDY!!! ( he was so the bomb.com )

Yeah this is going on the 5th year that the Late Norris Coleman has been gone from this green earth…. Hey the number 5 is for GRACE is God‘s numerology system so im claiming this to be MY YEAR! I swear everytime I see Valentine’s Day decorations being put out, I smile then I frown, because whether married or single…. my Father has always been my true Valentine…. then my eyes start to squint because my birthday is Feb 12th… which hmmm… does not make me excited to celebrate MY LIFE sometimes because HIS DEATH came 4 days after 5 years ago.

HOWEVER, last year it took my then 8 year old son and a girl pal to shake me and really ASSIST me in snapping out of the ” FUNCTIONING DEPRESSION” that I didnt know that I was in via my father passing. Thank goodness I was OPEN AND HONEST about where I really was and how I have really been feeling. Never having the time to mourn and never making the time to mourn kind of had me being a zombie and a robot all at the same time. It is AMAZING how the mind can make you think that YOU ARE ALRIGHT…..when indeed you are NOT!!

Welp….most importantly… im fine now… >>> inserting a happy face now >>> Happy Fac...

and a happy dance now!! LOL  and Glory be to God with the other pressures of life I have learned where to place negative things and situations….. I cant deal with everything all at once but in my own time and in my own way I can…

I am dancing with great joy name!! Because I am FREE from stress!!