Dear ( ME )

Wishful Thinking….

For me to STOP THINKING sooooooo much!! LOL The brain needs rest and so do I….. Any suggestions?

Being a mother

Being a big brother ( yes! although I am a female ) SILLY AND SCARY isn’t it

Being a big sister  ( although I am next to the baby in age )

Being a husband to my mother ( yes! that sounds crazy to but since my dad passed away almost 5 SHORT years ago – im it! ) don’t think dirty people

AND THE LIST I NOTICED……. as I was writing today literally just kept going on and on and ON!!! My hand did hurt and so did my head! ( too much )

Being any and everything TO EVERYONE is just plumb old exhausting and I gave up at least 10 of my 20 hats TODAY!!

I am soo proud of myself and God knows that the people who always wanted me to WEAR hats that I should have taken OFF a long time ago are in for a huge shock. Nontheless, they all will be ok and this too shall pass….

Whew…. Now I can breathe again……..


How Reality Shows “Should” Be…..

Move Over Mary Mary Gospel Reality Show! LOL

I cannot wait to see this….. Dont get me wrong, seeing Mary Mary’s reality show was just simply amazing TO ME at least because it was real and reminded me of me and my oldest sister!!! It showed that CHURCH FOLK are normal and have issues as well and argue and fuss like EVERYONE ELSE!
Ask for God‘s forgivness as well as anyone else we have offended and keep our days moving!!! UGGHH! Deep folk! But my team would not be flashy via sin!

Here is their link below: ( Mary – Mary )

If I had a reality show, I see it being with a mixture of Mary Mary, with a little hint of The Braxtons Family values! Sure people will judge, but WHO CARES- LOL

Yes, I love Jesus Christ
Yes, I LIVE the life because it is a lifestyle and not a trend
Yes, I am in ministry
Yes, I am a mother
Yes, I am a businesswoman
Yes, I am professional
Yes, I have friends from ” ALL ” walks of life (not all in church)

Being diversed …working with people from various backgrounds, staying true to who you are in CHRIST and having the skin tough enough to not worry about what others think of your process and productivity is indeed ME!

Dear ( ME )


mtvjerseyshore:</p><br />
<p>PAULY D PROJECT | MARCH 29TH<br /><br />

I lost 3 pounds!!!

Now 12 more to go and I will FINALLY where I “sorta wanted to be” BEFORE hitting the gym again…… I am so jealous that men lose weight more quickly than women! It is like watching the Biggest Loser and wondering why the men get so excited that they have lost 15 pounds in one week???? I’m like DUHHH……. their body is made up so differently than women, they only have muscle and fat to be frantic over! We have a whole lot of other things like carrying babies, menstrual cycles and A TON of things not added on the average list that makes us carry more weight than men….

Nonetheless, I still celebrate my little 3 POUNDS!! Yeah Buddy!


family moment

I had a VERY nice time with my another part of my family today….. it was such a REFRESHING time for all of us that we all shed tears! LOL

My nephews Isaiah and Lamar are such darlings!! They are soo precious and you can tell how their behavior blesses their own parents… their mom and dad has been through one rough patch for about 10 years! Then currently going through another one BUT GOD!!!! Fellowship is something that we all need and it can make a break our own mental state and ability to deal with others.

I cant wait to have a fun filled weekend with my little nephews in a few days! Movies, dinner, video games and snacks!!!! Everyone knows that I LOVE little boys and im excited to be able to give his parents a “night off” so that they can be a married couple instead of parents 24 hours a day. It is so important for couples to always make sure that they also maintain their OWN SPARK and I am obliged to assist my sister and brother in that area! Well with both Ron and Nikki being such good siblings also helps out as well! LOL

Now of course I know that this gives Jared a chance to have and be a BIG BROTHER like he always wanted! LOL …. Jared has asked me about adopting a younger brother or sister for over the past year and a half now… I told him if we did adopt, that it would MOST CERTAINLY be a boy and not a girl…  However he changes his mind from time to time then states that he wants a big brother!…. Which he already has an 18 1/2 year old brother and sister but niether of them come around to see about him so go figure!

Welp, speaking of BIG BROTHERS and all! 


Do you see my brother Ron above wearing that HORRID Pittsburgh Steeler jersey??? YIKES!! I tried to buy him and my little nephews a SPECTACULAR BALTIMORE RAVENS JERSEY >>>>>>      Ed Reed Jersey: Reebok Purple Replica #20 Baltimore Ravens Jerseybut it didnt work! LOL


just want peace….

When it comes to my family…. whew Jesus is ALL that I can seem to say… My head just stays in the clouds lately when it comes to having a REAL PLAN to “re- adjust” my family….. then I doze off on PURPOSE realizing that all of this DYSFUNCTION is in God‘s VERY HUGE HOOLY HANDS!!


I think that I have tried everything but sell my soul to the devil to fix the craziness of my family! It indeed is just a travesty to see how the different siblings, nephews, nieces and children have their own viewpoints on so many things! EVERYDAY, I think to myself what happened to the era of when I was growing up how my father always instructed the siblings to work things out etc.

There is a show on cable and the channel is called Oxygen and it has a reality show about R & B singer Toni Braxton and her sisters. I am a late bloomer to the show because I just watched a few clips of it and the most recent one displayed  HORRID fussing with the siblings.


It was crazy because they all were right in their own way but it took like forever for all of them to collectively come together to just STOP IT AND SETTLE IT! There is ONLY 1 out of the sisters who seems to always seek for peace and try to get everyone calm and remind them why they need not to fight… A light bulb came on and I saw myself in her via trying to be the peacemaker…


It would be so nice to be able to just START OVER and even shake a few people in my family to let them know that being angry and holding onto things are so not worth it… Be mad..sure!!! But having the ability to hold grudges for days…months..years..etc.. that is simply insane dont you think!


Nonetheless, I am soooooooooo tired of being the big brother…. when I am NOT even a brother…. i used to be tired of being a big sister but that area has come full circle and things have become awesome……i am tired of being the pastor of my family….the therapist…the husband to the lonely etc….


Dont get me wrong I dont mind AT ALL wearing hats REGARDLESS how silly they may be…. but the point is… well MY point is just that I have been wearing them for over 20 years and these last 6 has DRAINED the living mess out of me..


I now see what my amazing mother used to mean when she would talk about some of the things that would make her happy… she never talked about cars, houses, clothes, or jewelry…. WELL WAIT… she loves diamonds… LOL

Seriously though, she would also pray for things like peace and wisdom, joy etc..etc.. God knows I understand Mommy!