Church – Funnies!


CHANGING A LIGHT BULB THE CHRISTIAN WAY
How many Christians does it take to change a light bulb?
Charismatic
: Only 1 Hands are already in the air.
Pentecostal
: 10 One to change the bulb, and nine to pray against the spirit of darkness.
Presbyterians
: None Lights will go on and off at predestined times.
Roman Catholic
: None Candles only.
Baptists
: At least 15.
One to change the light bulb, and three committees to approve the change and decide who brings the Potato salad and fried chicken .
Episcopalians: 3 One to call the electrician, one to mix the drinks and one to talk about how much better the old one was.
Mormons
: 5 One man to change the bulb, and four wives to tell him how to do it.
Unitarians
 : We choose not to make a statement either in favor of or against the need for a light bulb. However, if in your own journey you have found that light bulbs work for you, you are invited to write a poem or compose a modern dance about your light bulb for the next Sunday service, in which we will explore a number of light bulb traditions, including incandescent, fluorescent, 3-way, long-life and tinted, all of which are equally valid paths to luminescence.
Methodists
: Undetermined
Whether your light is bright, dull, or completely out, you are loved. You can be a light bulb, turnip bulb, or tulip bulb. Bring a bulb of your choice to the Sunday lighting service and a covered dish to pass.

Nazarene : 6 One woman to replace the bulb while five men review church lighting policy.
Lutherans
: None Lutherans don’t believe in change.

Amish
: What’s a light bulb??
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Seeing Old Friends!!!


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Had a late start…an iffy early morning at the first service I attended…. then headed to a second church service and EXHALED!!!

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IT WAS AMAZINGLY BLESSED! (to say the least) The word of God is always a good way to snap me back together!

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My son cringes sometimes when we go to a church and everyone knows who he is BUT HE DOES NOT RECALL who they are!! Lol

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I tell him that people know him via me being pregnant with him up until he was about 2 years of age…. Of course he is still looking at them and ME like okay….mom!

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However, he loves this kid right here!!! I prayed for them and that God would ignite and shift the same anointing via musical talents …….the drums… I love him too, he is like a nephew to me.

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Then me and my little partner headed to a 3rd service….and it was nice to be amongst some genuine folk. Gosh I love these two people right here!!!!

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Since about 1994, me and this man had a bond that screamed WE ARE FAMILY!!!!! I love them BOTH but over the years…

God used him to be a Father and an Uncle (amazing one too) to me and my oldest sister and we have NOT let our bond go! He is an uncle that I have always and shall always hold dear to my heart…. and me and his wife have the same type of love for another…. she too, is soo sweet.

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I am grateful that she shares her space and time SPIRITUALLY with her husband so that he is able to be a blessing to people like ME!!

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Just seeing another girl pal of mine really made me saay CHEEZZZEE!!!! My soul sistahas!

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Then ran and did errands….then connected with a few more friends and by the time I looked at my phone it was after 5 pm!!!

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Whew…sooo time for me and my son to say all of our God bless you’s ….hug people…get a doggy bag and head home.

It is now 648 and ot feels every bit of at least 848and I cannot tell you how my pillow is DEMANDING me to lay on all 10 of them!!! Lol

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Had a very long but great day though..

MINISTRY – Note 2 Self….


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“Never underestimate the power of dreams and the influence of the human spirit. We are all the same in this notion: The potential for greatness lives within each of us.”

My LIFE is so bigger than “me”……. the things that I do…don’t do…the things that I say or even dont say etc…etc….

One reason why some of the ones that you have given to, poured into, helped and ministered to are not the same ones who are there for you now, is because  the were not your friends, but your assignment.

You can not build a relationship or set up a friendship in the “natural” off an assignment that is “spiritual.”

Night Cap……


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God does NOT do the things that we expect Him to do just because we FEEL THAT they need to be done… He is GOD!

HE also did not……write me a memo stating that He would make my life easier…..

HE also did not…..give me a hint when my 19 1/2 year old twin children would finally decide to follow Him …..

HE also did not…..call me on the house phone to remind me to wake up early in the morning to pray…….

He also did not…..text me nor email me to tell me that I need to make extra sacrifices for Him…..

HE also did not….fix the issues within my immediate family, that has gone on for the last 6 – 7 years……

HE also did not….. allow my mind to forget all the hurt that I have experienced from family and friends…..

HE also did not…..relocate me to the place of my choosing……..

HE also did not …. allow my father and grandmother to live longer per my request….

HE also did not ……heal my mother from some of her afflictions….

HE also did not…. deliver me out of my current Wilderness…….

Regardless of God NOT doing the things that I have asked or wanted from Him…. the real question is why and when will I start doing the things that HE asks from me???? YES!! This question can be geared toward all of us….

So with that being said… we should always wake up and go to bed saying to The Lord…….

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The Spirit of The Devil in A Dress!


If someone….I mean if ANYONE would have told me that this type of video even existed, I would QUICKLY have called them a liar….. There is no way, you have to be kidding, stop trying to get attention, the Lord would not allow someone to do that etc..etc..etc.. However, since the God that I serve is “such a gentleman” he allows us to choose what we want in the life that HE so graciously gave us as a gift……

If you have children around…PLEASE DO NOT CLICK THIS VIDEO………

Talk about the enemy using anything and anybody is an understatement…… This poor woman, is indeed wrapped up in the enemy’s devices…… ANY believer surely knows that God would NOT approve of this….. I can REALLY see why a great deal of people think that people in ministry are crazy….. Talk about wanting ANY type of attention… I almost thought 10 times even before I posted this garbage…but it is on you tube and I wanted to public disgrace the devil just as he is trying to MOCK GOD!

He is using a woman to speak on the things of Christ while trying to tease and make men and im sure even some women lust after this woman….. This is a TRUE EXAMPLE of how the enemy also knows God’s word…… well he should – he had a good seat while he was up in heaven and evidently his place was not good enough……

It makes you angry but it shows you how bold the enemy is as well…. he is such a trickster but his time is short!

God will always win…so no need to get upset anymore but to get better tactics and strategies to beat the enemy with the power of Jesus Christ that is within…. WARFARE TIME…

I decree and declare that the hand of the enemy will lose his hold over this woman and she shall live for the ONE AND ONLY true living God…..

From Positive Thinking 2 Positive Living –


Positive Thinking

Understanding that everything is perfect, because it serves and helps me to walk through life with care and perseverance, full of trust and humor, calmly doing what has to be done, gratefully realizing the truth revealing itself behind  appearance, and living securely in  the fullness of being.

Positive Feeling
Accepting others openly and harmoniously the way they are, learning that I cannot change people but I can pray for them and wait for the answer from Christ, confidently relying on my feelings and feeling worthy to live in abundance, contemplating life without judging and lovingly letting happen what  needs to happen.

Positive Wanting
Wanting to learn and wanting to understand, excusing and forgiving, wanting the right thing, listening to what life wants, relinquishing my own wants for God’s desires for my life.

Positive Talking
Learning to express myself clearly, learning to be silent and to listen without giving uninvited advice, being honest in word and action and giving gifts of words, bestowing courage and comfort to others and myself, using words only to help, to thank and to bless.

Positive Acting
Acting with circumspection and forbearance, being helpful, kind and constructive, remaining considerate and persevering,independent from the expectations of others, learning to give and to take and knowing to do the right thing  at the right moment through inner guidance.

Positive Retreating
Retreating regularly into silence, making time for prayer and meditation, surrendering to truth and reality in harmony, and feeling safe and sound in it.

Positive Living
Honoring the spiritual laws of Christ, walking through life carefree and calmly, knowing that all is really not equal but learning that  nurturing harmonious relationships and seeing the beauty of all things is important,  loving to live, but being ready to leave this life at any time, gratefully and  consciously fulfilling  God’s Plans every moment of our lives.
 

 

 

Ministry Burn – Out……


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In ministry, anyone can get burned out when they are doing maybe a bit too much. I know that I am NOT the only one who has experienced this at all. You desire to do the will and the work of the Lord Jesus Christ and of course be a blessing to your local assembly. Being a leader takes WORK and most of the time after you are ALREADY in it full throttle…..you do not understand how much can be required of you…….

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Leadership as well as the working pew members have moments when they just simply need A BREAK! Working in ministry is EITHER a full – time or a part – time job PERIOD! It takes a great deal of work, time, patience, energy and finances regardless what position you hold in your local assembly. Furthermore, if you also work outside your local church assembly – everything via your schedule gets amplified even higher.

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But pastors are particularly susceptible to it because it is their job to understand life and to explain it to people. Week after week pastors stand in front of crowds explaining how the bible impacts life. But his words ring very hollow – empty – pointless when he feels as though nothing he says matters or makes a real difference. After a while he realizes that his preaching only calls for a little more morality, a little more bible study, and a little more love. His teaching doesn’t transform people’s lives – at least not in ways that really matter.

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A pastor with ministry burnout feels like he’s on a treadmill or like he’s beating his head against a wall. He is very involved in a lot of ministry activities. But his efforts don’t accomplish much. He longs to be involved in genuine ministry but finds that the work he does often takes him further away from the ministry he is most passionate about.

I refer to the position of pastors as being a male but there of course are female pastors as well and over the last 10 years, there has been almost like a SPIRITUAL UPRISING in the church with women pastors. I also feel that this is the case because a great deal of men are “NOT in position” as being the head as God instructed them to be in.

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Clergy burnout occurs when a pastor sees that the work he is doing isn’t accomplishing the results he intends. Even more frustrating, he doesn’t know how to do ministry any other way, which leads to feelings of inadequacy or failure.   

People place to many expectations on pastors and their wives, and forget they are human beings. The first family is not always the perfect family we have our share of problems to, and we need genuine Christ Love just like you expect it for yourselves. What has happened to compassion and understanding?
 
We all need to understand the importance of re-grouping to obtain that SECOND WIND that only God can give so we can continue this race for Christ’s sake……. to God be the glory…..