Helping Self...



There is NOTHING like music that can sooth and heal the soul… Music, prayer and reading the bible ALWAYS have the ability to make me recall the God that I serve and His promises to me – I sometimes have BAD days and God’s music molds my mind back to the place where I can think – When in doubt……go listen to hyms and go meditate and allow God to minister to YOU




Happiness — it’s what we all strive to find and keep, even when it’s as elusive as ever. Nobody is happy all the time, but some people are definitely more fulfilled than others. Studies reveal that happiness has little to do with material goods or high achievement; it boils down to your outlook on life, the quality of your relationships, and basic amenities like good governance and community resources.

Look at the glass half-full instead of half-empty.  Now you have the opportunity to find a better one! Adjust your mentality so that, in everything that happens to you, there’s some kernel of good.

Think of your current situation (however hard it may be) and then think of how much harder some other people have it. Just be happy that you are not in that worse situation. Learn to enjoy your life!



Helping Self...

A Little Random – ness


Love yourself first and everything else falls into line. You really have to love yourself to get anything done in this world. I don’t like myself, I’m crazy about myself. Do you want to meet the love of your life? Continue to Look in the mirror!!!!

Our first and last love is – self-love WE ALL have to start and Plant our own garden (s) and decorate your own soul, instead of waiting for someone to bring you flowers.  If you must love your neighbor as yourself, it is at least as fair to love yourself as your neighbor.


Dont forget that Self-love seems so often unrequited……………If you aren’t good at loving yourself, you will have a difficult time loving anyone, since you’ll resent the time and energy you give another person that you aren’t even giving to yourself. The way you treat yourself sets the standard for others. To love oneself is the beginning of a life-long romance…..

You must love yourself before  you love another. By accepting yourself and fully being what you are, your simple presence can make others happy.  The price of hating other human beings is loving oneself less…….. and how about you need to Love yourself instead of abusing yourself!!!!! Know that you are WONDERFULLY MADE!

Helping Self...

Making Time


It is already Thursday….. So ask yourself if you have YET placed aside any time for yourself? If not, then you need to re – evaluate and re – adjust your schedule weekly. How can it already be Thursday morning and you have spent EVERY MOMENT focusing on other things and people but you yet again you obviously IGNORED YOURSELF?

How about start caring about yourself a little bit more than you are doing? You will LOVE yourself for it but you will then KICK YOURSELF after you see / realize how much that you needed it and you should have been “taking care of you”…….

During the time you take for yourself, look at your goals and what you want to do with your life. Think about your goals and how you are going to reach them. Think about the things that make you happy and think about what you are going to do to ensure you reach your goals. Taking time for yourself is a lot about goal setting because you can sit back and determine what goals you want to reach and how you are going to reach each of those goals.

Talk to your friends and family and let them know that you are taking time for yourself. Tell them that this time is for your personal reflection and that means no interruptions. Do not take phone calls from anyone and ensure those in your house know to leave you alone.

During your time, turn off the television, turn off the computer and sit down and surely let’s NOT FORGET to cut off that incredibly distracting CELL PHONE!! LOL

This is so you can be in your own mind. This keeps distractions from becoming a problem and it keeps you from worrying about things, or thinking about anything beyond what you need to.

Personal development will change your life but you need to make time for it and that means making time for yourself. Do not skimp on time for yourself because you want to ensure that you do everything right and reach the goals you want. Time for yourself allows you to think, plan and implement towards that end.


Forgiving –


I have been dealing with the ART OF FORGIVNESS for some time now…..and God knows that lately that I have had to put it to the test… especially this afternoon – let alone the last few years of my life.  However, I have gotten to a place to deal with learning how to forgive quicker and quicker now…..  Sometimes we can feel that we have totally forgiven someone and then God will allow something to transpire and YOU SHALL SEE THE TRUTH on if you have or not!!

The first phase is defining it. Your views on forgiveness are more important than how others define it. Take some time to ask yourself, how do I define forgiveness? Who are the people in my life that have influenced my understanding of forgiveness? Who are my role models of forgiveness or un-forgiveness?

The second phase of the process of forgiveness is understanding the interpersonal transgressions (incidents of hurt) in our lives. This involves asking yourself: Who has hurt me? When did it happen? Where did it happen? Why did it happen? What was the person thinking of when he or she hurt me? (Why did they do it?).

The third phrase, is to examine the maladaptive transformations that take place when one is emotionally hurt. Our thinking, feelings, behavior, and even our physiology is impacted when a significant offense occurs.  Especially, when we hold on to it for a long time. We need to understand what has happened as a result of a deep interpersonal transgression (emotional hurt). It is during this phase of the forgiveness process that one is waiting for an apology. Sometimes, it never comes.

The fourth phase, conversion takes place when we decide to make some serious changes in our emotional lives. We start to replace maladaptive thoughts and behaviors with more positive constructive ways of viewing and interacting with ourselves and others. The crucial factor in this phase is realizing that when we are joined to Christ (2 Corinthians 5:17) we are a new creation and the “old” has gone.  Paul (Ephesians 4: 17-32) explains what this awesome conversion is all about. I encourage
you to read the passage. A sure sign that we are changing is when we begin to feel a sense of compassion towards the offender and ourselves.

The final phase is the healing stage. It involves forgiveness and reconciliation. As you can see, forgiveness is at the tail end of the  process. At this point of the forgiveness process we no longer feel angry and resentful.  We now understand what has happen to us and can start to forgive ourselves and others. Once we forgive, we can decide if we want to reconcile with the offender.

Reconciliation is always optional. It requires that we feel that it is safe to return to a relationship but you have to also understand that forgiveness is JUST THAT……. FORGIVING someone who betrayed you in some form or another….. IT DOES NOT MEAN that you have to maintain the SAME TYPE of relationship. Trust had to be earned to even establish a relationship and if you feel that the bond has been tainted / broken etc. it is your choice on whether to allow the individual to HAVE THAT SAME SPACE!

It is still forgiving but it also trusting yourself with your own feelings as well. TRUST AND LISTEN TO YOURSELF and know that when people SHOW YOU who they are the VERY FIRST TIME……do yourself a favor and BELIEVE THEM!