Tag Archives: Single parent

Dear J.C.C.C.


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I love you ….. You are beautiful on the inside that you have NO CHOICE but to shine and be even more beautiful on the outside….. I am indeed so very proud of you and to call you my son….

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We have been through so many things together, it is a blessing that we still laugh, giggle, crack jokes and even smile as much as we do. God has used you and showed you how to be strong at a very early age and gratefully you have accepted Jesus Christ into your life.
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Thank you for showing me how to extend grace to those who do not deserve it while reminding me DAILY …” WHAT WOULD JESUS DO”….
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I am so glad God chose ME to be your mommy! Of course, there is no way that I could not ask for a better son and friend!
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God bless you and know that I will always be here for you!

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Interesting Day!


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We had such a good day today!!!! He was able to spend time with his other parent after his soccer game and just relax and have fun….. My other son had me laughing in stitches and trying to figure out when I would meet his girlfriend …. these college kids!

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My son was trying seriously to convince me why he needed more xbox 360 Kinect Games! LOL

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He smiled for the camera…hoping and praying that his face would melt my heart…….nope!!!! not so!

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He began to start his speech like he was running for political office on the importance of this Soccer Game! LOL

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He wanted to show me the comparison in prices with different games to show me that I would be getting a deal if I purchased them for him all today!!! This boy is indeed my son because he knows how to debate and present a case very well!!!

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AFTER….my son twisted my arm to get him a few more games…..he left very happy and couldn’t wait to get in the car to head home…..

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When you sit back & see some things from AFAR….God will show,expose and uncover some things you missed when you were UP CLOSE!! I am so glad that I am able to REALLY see clearly now… My son and I have endured and overcame a great deal of things and we are walking testimonies!

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He was tired of taking pictures, so he acted as if he fell asleep! Overall this child had an amazing day and it is still early!

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Another Parenting Thought……


Many individuals claim that being a single parent is difficult, as if being a  parent would somehow be easier if there were a second person around to “lighten”  the load.  I wonder how much of this is actually true, and how much is a figment  of our imagination?  I’ve been a single parent for a while now, and I find it to  be a blessing.  My son “NOW – mostly” doesn’t seem to mind one way or the other.  Do not get me wrong, we have had PLENTY of moments of him saying, I want us to get married, are guys scared to say hi to you? That used to be cute, then scary, then sad……I had to say wow – I guess I really stopped noticing what “their hang – up” may have been because we are both so busy.

He does wish that his biological father or even my future husband would appear from out the sky and POOF be all that they should be for him! LOL  The reality that I’ve come to is that to my son, all of his life, it did not matter TO ME but to him I did not want to be stingy with his time and his heart.  He’s cool with whatever.  He simply wants to  play, learn, and be loved. Anything else that we as adults claim that children  need seems to me to be our opinion, rather than some sort of rule.

It’s a complete and total blessing for me to be raising my 10 year old little man by myself  right now. It is a great deal of constant work with never getting a break but he did not ask to be here and I SURELY LOVE HIM so…….  The fact that being a single parent should be construed as something  negative is simply something that I won’t buy into.

I believe that we become  what we think about, and if I think about what a burden being a single parent  is, it will become just that…a burden.  So I choose to think about how blessed  I am, and guess what?  I feel the entire situation is a blessing…… at least MOST days I do!!! LOL

Being A Mom –


There is NO  WAY to become a perfect mother / parent or a perfect child….

Each understanding of how a relationship should be is not the same

Each situation is unique

Each mother is different

Each child is different

Each has their own skills and abilities

Each viewpoint can sometimes be too big or too small

Raising kids has no shades of grey to it because we all want the best for our families….

However in the end – it is the unconditional LOVE that is shown towards one another

 

Weekend Fun Part 5


Find ways to spend quality time with your son without the constant distractions you bring home from work. In many cultures it is common practice for men to work and the women to stay home and take care of the kids.

I agree with this role for married couples to some degree but as with anything you need to be flexible with this traditional family model.  Everyone is not married and they have to figure out what works for them as a family! I am a single parent but I rip and run and do things as if I was apart of a two parent house hold….It sounds VERY OXY-MORONIC but at times, that is how I feel.

My number one suggestion is to never allow yourself as a parent to find your identity in your career. By allowing your job to define who you are you unintentionally prioritize things like career, work, and business tasks over your FAMILY. In this situation when it would normally be time to take your son to the playground to talk to him and push him on the swing you find yourself checking your stock portfolio or emails on your Iphone and trying to push the swing at the same time.

I AM GUILTY of spending time with my son but holding the phone in my hand and it is horrible! He makes sure that he speaks up about it too……. However apart of my weekend I CHOSE to sincerely hang with my son and give him my FULL ATTENTION…..

Shopping and Cookout (s ) WILL HAVE anyone TIRED! However, time with friends are always a blessing………….. I had more fun today than he did im sure..

My son felt he had to stop at American Eagle to buy new outfits for “the day” so why are we in shoes stores? He had no answer but just kept “looking” at shoes!

His view was that he did not want to buy anything in the shoe store just look around…. Yes he is a good kid but as parents, we still must maintain standards!

Nonetheless, it was a great time for me to keep the phone in the purse – the whole time unless it rang!! It actually felt good to focus TOTALLY on him!

Enough of Jared 2 Go Around!


My son is loved

My son is loved

My son is loved

My son is loved

 We were talking and he was getting into a mood again when he thinks of the lack of consistency with his father and brother and I had to remind him that just because his father is not there, just because his older brother does not call, just because he does not see his uncles that he SHOULD NOT disregard the people that are in his life that have helped him over the years – not to mention currently! His MIND understands but of course his HEART does not and that hurts ME AS HIS MOTHER…..

So as we talked about the people in his life, I dedicate this blog specifically to my little 10 year old baby… Single Parents – do not dwell on what you or your child (ren) do not have because the blessing is indeed WHAT IS LEFT! Remember the blessing even after the blessing seems to have dimmed in your eyes! God is not through – blessing you!

 

My son is loved

My son is loved

My son is loved

My son is loved

My son is loved

My son is loved

That is why he is always so happy and it is a GREAT reason for us both to appreciate the people placed in his life….. He may not have a a long list of MALE mentors in his life or MALE family members in his constant circle BUT God has strategically sent te individuals who were able to assist him in his time of need. Also the WOMEN that are in is life treat him like a young man and NOT a boy who is treated so delicately that he PREFERS to hang around women…his aunts….his mother…his grandmother…my girlfriends ( female friends ) etc… I am blessed to have people in his life who genuinle care about him.  The male figures will come and add to his life soon enough….

Until then… his friends – his friends dad’s – his friends uncles keep us running while I maintain being Soccer Mom……Band Mom….Baseball Mom….Taekwondo Mom….Swimming Mom…. and REGULAR MOM! LOL

For the lack of MALE role models in my son’s life  – it is so imperative that he stays involved in as many male centered activities as possible. I STAY TIRED – but I feel that my son is totally worth it!